Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 8 · Round 37

Washboard Ring — Team Pack Race

Washboard Yard · Washboard Ring · 135 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — The Lieutenant survives to win

The Lieutenant took Washboard Ring — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Tube Sock finished second. 11 competitors failed to finish. Lump Patrol took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:35.392 11 +10 41 11.7
2 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:46.450 +11.06 4 +2 51 11.0
3 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:49.308 +13.92 8 +5 72 10.9
4 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:51.400 +16.01 9 +5 60 11.9
5 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:55.492 +20.10 5 0 71 10.5
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 +6 44 11.6
Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 +3 42 11.8
The Coaster WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 +6 30 11.4
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -3 30 10.7
The Heel WRECKED WET The Wet Socks 3 -7 14 10.6
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +2 18 11.1
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +3 11 10.6
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -11 13 10.1
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -7 10 9.8
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +1 11 11.1
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -15 13 10.5
1.742
Yolk is losing bits.
6.042
And it all goes wrong. Recent finishes: 5-4-16-8-4.
11.125
You do not see that every day.
16.058
Floppy Joe is losing bits. Recent finishes: 9-6-7-7-11.
22.467
Yolk leaves something behind.
27.017
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
28.567
And that is Tender Greg finished.
30.067
Crooked Pete has put Floppy Joe out. Recent finishes: 9-6-7-7-11.
36.250
Up it goes.
41.558
That has come off. Recent finishes: 14-8-11-5-6.
47.425
The Coaster leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 15-1-3-1-1.
49.275
Yolk is out.
50.775
That is Honey Mustard taking Pilot Light with them.
52.750
That is The Heel taking Crooked Pete with them.
58.067
They will not want to see that again.
59.567
Tube Sock has put Puck Yeah out.
1:03.800
The Lieutenant is airborne!
1:10.050
Honey Mustard is coming through.
1:14.425
You do not see that every day.
1:15.925
And that is The Heel finished.
1:21.267
Sweaty Gerald is out, and The Unit did it.
1:26.725
That is a long way off the ground.
1:32.808
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
1:37.575
There is nothing left of it.
1:42.342
Absolute carnage.
1:47.100
Butter Bean leaves something behind.
1:51.450
Chunk is airborne!
1:58.508
There is nothing left of it.
2:05.450
A new leader — The Coaster.
2:13.117
The Coaster will not take much more.
2:17.558
The Lieutenant is airborne!
2:21.300
The Coaster is out.
2:27.508
Chunk is losing bits.
2:29.008
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:34.267
That has come off.
2:38.467
That has come off.
2:43.042
Chunk is losing bits.
2:55.517
Chunk has nothing left on it.
3:02.875
Chunk will not take much more.
3:07.992
That is a long way off the ground.
3:11.567
Last lap.
3:13.442
And that is Chunk finished.
3:17.800
The Lieutenant goes to the front.
3:27.633
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
3:32.392
The Lieutenant is coming to the flag.
3:35.392
The Lieutenant takes it!
3:41.308
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Yolk 22.708 Yolk 22.708
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 46.042 The Coaster 22.850
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:11.333 Honey Mustard 21.775
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 1:35.067 The Unit 22.816
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 1:58.717 The Coaster 23.541
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 2:21.258 Honey Mustard 22.541
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 2:21.658 Honey Mustard 0.400
Smooth Descent Clay Chunk 3:11.567 Chunk 21.375
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 3:35.392 The Lieutenant 20.650
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 LMP Lump Patrol 7 1/2 8
2 NUG The Nuggets 11 1/2 7
3 WET The Wet Socks 12 1/2 6
4 BEA The Beans 14 1/2 5
5 HEA Basement Heat 17 1/2 4
6 PCK The Pucks 19 0/2 3
7 SFT The Soft Boys 27 0/2 2
8 NOO The Noodles 29 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
186 starts, 6 wins, average finish 8.9. Last five: 13-15-1-4-10.
219.30
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
178 starts, 6 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 2-13-10-3-7.
114.62
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
170 starts, 17 wins, average finish 5.6. Last five: 4-7-4-5-9.
18.54
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
193 starts, 24 wins, average finish 4.4. Last five: 9-3-6-3-2.
3.11
22
Butter Bean The Beans
185 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.7. Last five: 6-8-9-3-7.
24.85
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
186 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.1. Last five: 11-12-9-7-13.
219.30
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
177 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 14-14-16-15-11.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
190 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 8-7-13-5-7.
18.32
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
185 starts, 6 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 5-4-6-8-6.
13.25
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
192 starts, 8 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 8-10-8-6-11.
41.74
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
185 starts, 41 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 1-4-5-1-1.
1.86
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
162 starts, 5 wins, average finish 9.9. Last five: 8-10-13-1-10.
196.88
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
185 starts, 5 wins, average finish 12.3. Last five: 2-11-14-15-16.
219.30
3
The Coaster The Pucks
186 starts, 18 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 16-12-9-4-14.
87.59
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
188 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.2. Last five: 16-16-13-16-16.
219.30
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
194 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.6. Last five: 15-14-13-15-10.
219.30

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
14m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

Fourteen metres of corrugated deck plate laid across the main straight, crossed nine times a race. Nobody is ever taken out by it and nobody ever finishes intact — it does not wreck you, it disassembles you, one rivet at a time, and hands the pieces back at the flag. By the last lap the difference between a finisher and a heap of parts is simply who crossed it more cleanly. The stand sells earplugs at the gate; the noise is not a side effect, it is the attraction.

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