Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 8 · Round 41

The Saucer — Team Pack Race

Saucer Park · The Saucer · 107 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Old Gristle survives to win

Old Gristle took The Saucer — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Thick Rick finished second. 6 competitors failed to finish. Lump Patrol took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:34.058 12 +11 35 12.0
2 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:36.125 +2.07 10 +8 38 12.1
3 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:43.267 +9.21 3 0 18 10.9
4 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:49.575 +15.52 4 0 20 10.6
5 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:49.783 +15.73 1 -4 16 10.3
6 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:51.717 +17.66 11 +5 39 11.4
7 Honey Mustard NUG The Nuggets 3:51.900 +17.84 9 +2 45 11.7
8 Custard SFT The Soft Boys 3:52.683 +18.63 15 +7 26 11.2
9 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:56.575 +22.52 8 -1 29 10.5
10 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 3:57.142 +23.08 7 -3 25 10.1
The Coaster WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 +3 33 11.7
The Kidney WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -7 26 11.0
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -11 13 10.4
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -8 18 10.2
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 -2 20 12.1
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 0 12 11.4
2.300
A new leader — Tender Greg.
6.992
That was always going to happen.
11.217
Oh, that is a big one. Recent finishes: 6-3-6-2-3.
17.792
They will not want to see that again.
28.167
Puck Yeah leaves something behind.
36.383
Honey Mustard leaves something behind.
40.650
The Kidney leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 14-7-8-8-5.
47.817
There is nothing left of it. Recent finishes: 1-1-1-15-1.
56.150
There goes a piece of The Coaster.
1:00.592
Puck Yeah is airborne!
1:04.850
Stripped to the shell.
1:10.050
Tube Sock is coming through.
1:14.608
And that is Tender Greg finished.
1:18.933
That is a long way off the ground.
1:31.383
Old Gristle is airborne! Recent finishes: 3-2-2-6-8.
1:35.975
Up it goes. Recent finishes: 3-4-2-3-3.
1:40.958
Absolute carnage.
1:43.275
That is Tube Sock taking Puck Yeah with them.
1:49.817
Absolute carnage.
1:56.350
That has come off.
2:00.667
It is coming apart now.
2:05.192
Floppy Joe is losing bits.
2:11.250
That has come off.
2:16.142
The Coaster is airborne!
2:22.458
The Kidney leaves something behind.
2:27.250
That is a long way off the ground.
2:28.750
And that is Sweaty Gerald finished.
2:35.758
That is a long way off the ground.
2:40.050
Look at the state of it.
2:44.575
Custard is airborne!
2:50.050
Look at The Lieutenant go.
2:59.733
Look at the state of it.
3:09.608
That is a long way off the ground.
3:11.108
Floppy Joe will not be back.
3:16.008
Last lap.
3:20.392
They felt that in the back row.
3:23.767
Wrecked, and out of the race.
3:31.058
Old Gristle is coming to the flag.
3:32.083
There is nothing protecting The Kidney now.
3:34.058
Old Gristle takes it!
3:42.025
That is a long way off the ground.
3:44.942
The Kidney is out.
3:51.492
Honey Mustard leaves something behind.
3:57.008
Stripped to the shell.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 15.317 Old Gristle 15.317
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 34.950 The Coaster 17.575
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 48.517 Old Gristle 13.567
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:07.708 Honey Mustard 16.717
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:29.900 The Lieutenant 17.992
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:44.550 Old Gristle 14.650
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:02.408 Thick Rick 14.650
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:17.075 Old Gristle 14.667
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:39.167 The Coaster 16.134
Smooth Descent Clay Thick Rick 2:56.483 Thick Rick 17.125
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:16.008 Honey Mustard 17.617
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:34.058 Tube Sock 17.342
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 LMP Lump Patrol 7 2/2 8
2 WET The Wet Socks 7 2/2 7
3 NUG The Nuggets 9 2/2 6
4 NOO The Noodles 18 1/2 5
5 HEA Basement Heat 19 2/2 4
6 SFT The Soft Boys 24 1/2 3
7 PCK The Pucks 26 0/2 2
8 BEA The Beans 26 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
7
Long John The Noodles
203 starts, 8 wins, average finish 5.6. Last five: 7-15-5-3-7.
18.05
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
190 starts, 6 wins, average finish 8.9. Last five: 7-6-11-12-13.
219.30
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
190 starts, 36 wins, average finish 3.7. Last five: 6-3-7-3-4.
3.09
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
196 starts, 24 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 5-2-3-9-3.
3.95
6
The Kidney The Beans
188 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.0. Last five: 13-12-11-10-12.
219.30
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
188 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.1. Last five: 5-11-11-12-9.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
181 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.4. Last five: 10-8-13-10-5.
130.72
1
The Unit Basement Heat
190 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 8-7-13-5-7.
53.36
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
193 starts, 8 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 6-8-10-8-6.
45.57
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
186 starts, 6 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 8-5-4-6-8.
27.09
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
188 starts, 42 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 14-2-1-1-4.
5.38
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
206 starts, 49 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 2-2-3-9-5.
4.67
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
188 starts, 5 wins, average finish 12.3. Last five: 15-10-15-2-11.
219.30
3
The Coaster The Pucks
186 starts, 18 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 16-12-9-4-14.
132.52
21
Custard The Soft Boys
187 starts, 5 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 7-11-14-6-13.
142.74
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
197 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.5. Last five: 15-10-16-15-14.
219.30

Course preview

4 sections · 107 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

Short, banked, clay, and nowhere to hide — twelve laps of the same two corners with the whole field welded to the same line. It is the sport at its most basic and still puts one competitor in the wall most weeks. The grandstand was built on the outside of turn two for the obvious reason: that is where everything ends up, and those seats come with a complimentary poncho. The clay is rolled smooth every morning and looks, for about four minutes, like it might be safe. It is not.

On the record

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