Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 9 · Round 30

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Old Gristle survives to win

Old Gristle took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Big Randy finished second. 9 competitors failed to finish. The Nuggets took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:37.917 12 +11 35 12.3
2 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 3:43.917 +6.00 2 0 20 10.7
3 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:45.958 +8.04 4 +1 22 10.6
4 Honey Mustard NUG The Nuggets 3:46.867 +8.95 10 +6 41 11.6
5 Custard SFT The Soft Boys 3:47.325 +9.41 15 +10 36 11.5
6 Lil Nugget NUG The Nuggets 3:50.058 +12.14 9 +3 38 11.7
7 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 4:03.717 +25.80 8 +1 26 10.7
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -3 30 10.9
The Heel WRECKED WET The Wet Socks 3 -6 17 10.9
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 +4 30 12.2
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -5 15 10.4
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -11 13 10.6
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -6 12 10.4
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 11 -3 22 12.3
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +1 9 11.3
Wide Load FELL PCK The Pucks 13 -3 2 22.9
3.092
Wide Load is airborne! Recent finishes: 1-1-3-2-1.
7.492
There is nothing left of it.
12.008
That has come off.
16.900
Oh, that is a big one. Recent finishes: 6-3-3-9-8.
22.025
That has come off. Recent finishes: 1-2-2-5-1.
27.067
You do not see that every day.
37.342
Oh, that is a big one. Recent finishes: 8-16-6-16-8.
42.392
Look at the state of it. Recent finishes: 6-14-7-14-6.
47.733
That has come off.
50.825
Tube Sock has put Tender Greg out.
58.675
That is a long way off the ground.
1:04.633
That has come off.
1:09.375
That is a long way off the ground.
1:14.692
Chunk is losing bits.
1:20.050
Old Gristle is coming through.
1:25.108
Chunk is losing bits.
1:29.733
That was always going to happen.
1:34.683
You do not see that every day.
1:39.325
Up it goes.
1:48.175
That is a long way off the ground.
1:52.492
That has come off.
1:57.025
Extraordinary scenes.
2:01.225
Up it goes.
2:02.725
Chunk is out.
2:07.658
That is real damage.
2:10.592
Pilot Light will not be back.
2:15.325
Refried Ron will not take much more.
2:19.417
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:26.592
The Unit is airborne!
2:28.533
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:33.550
That is real damage.
2:40.050
Slapper is losing places.
2:44.300
Look at the state of it.
2:45.800
And that is Slapper finished.
2:57.017
You do not see that every day.
3:06.183
Sweaty Gerald leaves something behind.
3:10.533
That has come off.
3:12.033
The Heel is out, and Tube Sock did it.
3:13.533
This is the last of it.
3:19.825
Extraordinary scenes.
3:26.525
There is nothing left of it.
3:31.875
That has come off.
3:34.917
Old Gristle has it.
3:36.350
Stripped to the shell.
3:37.917
Old Gristle takes it!
3:47.633
They felt that in the back row.
3:52.100
Sweaty Gerald is out.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 20.725 Honey Mustard 20.725
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 42.550 Honey Mustard 21.825
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 1:11.450 Lil Nugget 21.492
Smooth Descent Clay Chunk 1:37.567 Old Gristle 21.917
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:00.700 Old Gristle 21.958
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:26.625 Big Randy 23.392
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:48.292 Old Gristle 21.667
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:13.283 Custard 24.083
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 NUG The Nuggets 10 2/2 8
2 WET The Wet Socks 12 1/2 7
3 NOO The Noodles 14 1/2 6
4 LMP Lump Patrol 15 1/2 5
5 BEA The Beans 19 0/2 4
6 SFT The Soft Boys 20 1/2 3
7 HEA Basement Heat 20 1/2 2
8 PCK The Pucks 26 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
202 starts, 6 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 15-11-8-9-8.
219.30
1
Big Randy The Noodles
206 starts, 12 wins, average finish 6.0. Last five: 5-7-7-4-4.
17.10
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
189 starts, 19 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 5-2-8-3-13.
15.93
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
211 starts, 28 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 2-4-6-4-4.
3.48
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
204 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.0. Last five: 4-11-9-11-13.
219.30
5
Refried Ron The Beans
210 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.9. Last five: 12-14-12-11-12.
219.30
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
191 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 14-14-15-10-9.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
207 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 2-8-13-11-12.
45.18
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
209 starts, 5 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 6-4-2-15-10.
54.73
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
211 starts, 8 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 9-15-6-9-6.
92.17
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
180 starts, 5 wins, average finish 10.0. Last five: 11-10-12-5-15.
219.30
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
219 starts, 54 wins, average finish 4.9. Last five: 1-2-1-2-4.
2.68
4
Wide Load The Pucks
220 starts, 44 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 1-3-1-8-1.
3.49
8
Slapper The Pucks
202 starts, 22 wins, average finish 8.5. Last five: 14-1-8-8-10.
189.32
21
Custard The Soft Boys
205 starts, 5 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 6-10-14-12-10.
112.50
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
212 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.5. Last five: 14-15-16-10-16.
219.30

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

On the record

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