Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 9 · Round 37

Washboard Ring — Team Pack Race

Washboard Yard · Washboard Ring · 135 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — The Lieutenant survives to win

The Lieutenant took Washboard Ring — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Wide Load finished second. 11 competitors failed to finish. Lump Patrol took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:33.150 11 +10 37 11.9
2 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:40.858 +7.71 14 +12 47 12.1
3 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:44.425 +11.28 3 0 53 11.1
4 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:50.917 +17.77 1 -3 58 10.8
5 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:53.700 +20.55 6 +1 58 10.8
Lil Nugget WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 +3 50 12.1
Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 +3 51 12.5
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +5 23 11.8
Gravy WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 +3 27 11.1
Big Randy WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -8 21 10.3
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +5 12 11.0
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +3 24 11.5
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -8 13 10.4
The Heel WRECKED WET The Wet Socks 4 -10 13 10.2
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -8 12 10.1
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -8 11 10.2
1.592
Extraordinary scenes. Recent finishes: 7-14-3-4-2.
6.583
There goes a piece of Puck Yeah. Recent finishes: 7-3-1-1-1.
11.783
That has come off. Recent finishes: 3-5-2-1-2.
16.142
Puck Yeah is airborne! Recent finishes: 7-3-1-1-1.
22.392
That has come off.
26.767
There goes a piece of Gravy. Recent finishes: 3-5-2-1-2.
28.267
Radiator is out, and Honey Mustard did it.
35.142
Up it goes.
39.417
Puck Yeah is losing bits.
43.933
There goes a piece of Custard.
45.433
Pilot Light is out, and Yolk did it.
49.417
That is Custard taking The Heel with them.
53.617
That was always going to happen.
55.117
Refried Ron is out, and Yolk did it.
57.717
Honey Mustard has put Custard out.
1:04.492
There goes a piece of The Lieutenant.
1:08.817
There goes a piece of Honey Mustard.
1:15.000
You do not see that every day.
1:16.500
Yolk is out, and Tube Sock did it.
1:22.508
That is Butter Bean taking Big Randy with them.
1:27.500
Extraordinary scenes.
1:32.617
That has come off.
1:38.925
Gravy is out.
1:43.208
Up it goes.
1:48.975
That is a long way off the ground.
1:59.617
There is nothing protecting Puck Yeah now.
2:06.075
It is coming apart now.
2:11.450
And that is Puck Yeah finished.
2:16.600
Up it goes.
2:21.250
A new leader — The Lieutenant.
2:34.550
That has come off.
2:39.817
Up it goes.
2:44.375
That is a long way off the ground.
2:54.608
Honey Mustard has nothing left on it.
3:00.458
Tube Sock has put Honey Mustard out.
3:01.958
Wrecked, and out of the race.
3:06.858
They felt that in the back row.
3:09.458
This is the last of it.
3:18.708
You do not see that every day.
3:25.850
Up it goes.
3:30.150
The Lieutenant has it.
3:32.150
Wide Load is airborne!
3:33.650
The Lieutenant wins the derby.
3:53.267
There goes a piece of Butter Bean.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 22.683 The Lieutenant 22.683
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 44.700 Gravy 20.492
Smooth Descent Clay Puck Yeah 1:06.950 Puck Yeah 21.100
Smooth Descent Clay Puck Yeah 1:30.783 The Lieutenant 22.875
Smooth Descent Clay Puck Yeah 1:53.317 Puck Yeah 22.534
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:25.650 Lil Nugget 23.525
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:49.017 Honey Mustard 22.033
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 3:09.458 The Lieutenant 20.441
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 3:33.150 The Lieutenant 23.692
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 LMP Lump Patrol 10 1/2 8
2 PCK The Pucks 10 1/2 7
3 NUG The Nuggets 13 0/2 6
4 NOO The Noodles 14 1/2 5
5 WET The Wet Socks 17 1/2 4
6 BEA The Beans 18 1/2 3
7 SFT The Soft Boys 23 0/2 2
8 HEA Basement Heat 31 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
7
Long John The Noodles
224 starts, 8 wins, average finish 5.7. Last five: 8-5-3-4-15.
14.16
1
Big Randy The Noodles
207 starts, 13 wins, average finish 6.0. Last five: 1-5-7-7-4.
17.55
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
214 starts, 28 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 7-4-7-2-4.
3.81
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
195 starts, 19 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 10-3-2-3-2.
18.85
5
Refried Ron The Beans
214 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.0. Last five: 16-14-11-13-12.
219.30
22
Butter Bean The Beans
218 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.6. Last five: 12-7-6-16-3.
47.48
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
192 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 14-14-14-15-10.
219.30
4
Radiator Basement Heat
236 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.1. Last five: 12-13-9-14-16.
219.30
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
216 starts, 5 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 3-9-9-11-6.
68.44
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
213 starts, 8 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 13-14-9-15-6.
101.89
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
220 starts, 47 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 5-8-2-7-7.
5.35
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
225 starts, 26 wins, average finish 7.2. Last five: 5-10-7-13-2.
28.28
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
209 starts, 5 wins, average finish 12.3. Last five: 14-14-12-15-4.
219.30
4
Wide Load The Pucks
226 starts, 46 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 4-1-4-1-11.
2.40
21
Custard The Soft Boys
207 starts, 5 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 4-6-6-10-14.
94.87
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
212 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.2. Last five: 16-14-15-13-16.
219.30

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
14m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

Fourteen metres of corrugated deck plate laid across the main straight, crossed nine times a race. Nobody is ever taken out by it and nobody ever finishes intact — it does not wreck you, it disassembles you, one rivet at a time, and hands the pieces back at the flag. By the last lap the difference between a finisher and a heap of parts is simply who crossed it more cleanly. The stand sells earplugs at the gate; the noise is not a side effect, it is the attraction.

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