Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 10 · Round 47

The Crucible

Crossbones Field · The Crucible · 161 m · 16 competitors Crossing traffic Track furniture Uphill section Steep banking
CHAMPIONSHIP FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Tube Sock survives to win

Tube Sock took The Crucible for the The Wet Socks. Butter Bean finished second. 14 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:46.467 3 +2 30 10.5
2 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:48.317 +1.85 5 +3 35 11.3
Long John RUNNING NOO The Noodles 1 -2 28 10.6
Wide Load RUNNING PCK The Pucks 14 +10 36 11.4
Crawlspace WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 +2 31 11.1
Big Randy WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -4 22 10.3
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -1 29 10.6
The Heel WRECKED WET The Wet Socks 4 -4 17 10.5
Custard RUNNING SFT The Soft Boys 16 +7 23 11.2
Gravy WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 11 +1 25 11.4
Old Gristle RUNNING LMP Lump Patrol 12 +1 25 11.4
The Coaster WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +1 29 11.1
The Unit RUNNING HEA Basement Heat 8 -5 10 9.8
Honey Mustard RUNNING NUG The Nuggets 9 -5 14 11.0
Stubbs RUNNING NUG The Nuggets 10 -5 12 11.4
Tender Greg RUNNING SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 7 9.5
2.542
There goes a piece of Honey Mustard.
7.750
The Unit takes the lead.
12.250
They felt that in the back row. Recent finishes: 6-1-1-1-1.
17.517
That has come off. Recent finishes: 1-2-3-2-4.
27.083
Gravy is airborne!
31.433
There goes a piece of Honey Mustard.
36.208
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
43.983
Gravy is losing bits.
48.400
A new leader — Big Randy.
57.608
That was always going to happen.
1:02.700
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up. Recent finishes: 7-14-6-4-13.
1:10.050
They felt that in the back row.
1:15.033
There is nothing left of it. Recent finishes: 4-5-8-8-6.
1:19.300
The Heel goes to the front. Career record: 2 wins from 315, average finish 6.8.
1:23.675
There goes a piece of The Heel.
1:28.217
There goes a piece of Crawlspace.
1:33.267
There goes a piece of Wide Load.
1:39.092
They felt that in the back row.
1:43.308
Look at the state of it.
1:50.050
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
1:54.775
Up it goes.
1:59.183
Up it goes.
2:03.558
That is real damage.
2:06.517
And that is The Coaster finished.
2:16.767
Absolute carnage.
2:18.267
Gravy is out, and Butter Bean did it.
2:22.500
The Heel takes the lead.
2:30.050
That was always going to happen.
2:36.242
The Heel has nothing left on it.
2:40.550
There is nothing left of it.
2:47.000
It is coming apart now.
2:50.100
The Heel will not be back.
2:54.458
Absolute carnage.
2:59.817
Honey Mustard is going nowhere.
3:06.217
It is coming apart now.
3:11.225
Wide Load is airborne!
3:14.258
Big Randy is out.
3:18.333
Wrecked, and out of the race.
3:19.833
Last lap.
3:21.383
Crawlspace is out, and Butter Bean did it.
3:29.533
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
3:34.225
Wide Load has stalled.
3:38.558
Tender Greg has stalled.
3:43.467
Tube Sock has it.
3:46.467
Tube Sock takes it!
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 27.458 Custard 27.458
Smooth Descent Clay Big Randy 55.775 The Heel 27.508
Smooth Descent Clay Big Randy 1:23.900 Old Gristle 26.017
Smooth Descent Clay The Heel 1:51.317 Gravy 26.100
Smooth Descent Clay Big Randy 2:19.842 Butter Bean 27.533
Smooth Descent Clay The Heel 2:47.108 The Heel 27.091
Smooth Descent Clay Long John 3:18.942 Crawlspace 27.275
Smooth Descent Clay Tube Sock 3:46.467 Tube Sock 27.292
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 9 1/2 16
2 BEA The Beans 9 1/2 14
3 NOO The Noodles 9 0/2 12
4 PCK The Pucks 16 0/2 10
5 HEA Basement Heat 18 0/2 8
6 LMP Lump Patrol 21 0/2 6
7 SFT The Soft Boys 25 0/2 4
8 NUG The Nuggets 29 0/2 2
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
7
Long John The Noodles
258 starts, 9 wins, average finish 5.6. Last five: 7-4-4-9-5.
6.40
1
Big Randy The Noodles
238 starts, 14 wins, average finish 6.1. Last five: 3-9-2-7-8.
13.33
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
239 starts, 31 wins, average finish 4.2. Last five: 2-4-5-3-7.
2.49
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
223 starts, 20 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 5-5-13-2-11.
12.40
22
Butter Bean The Beans
254 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.7. Last five: 12-13-5-2-12.
60.69
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
236 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.0. Last five: 8-9-13-16-10.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
242 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.6. Last five: 10-10-11-11-2.
95.15
1
The Unit Basement Heat
237 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 6-2-10-11-5.
24.21
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
245 starts, 8 wins, average finish 8.0. Last five: 2-6-9-7-14.
40.48
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
238 starts, 14 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 11-2-8-10-9.
39.66
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
257 starts, 33 wins, average finish 7.0. Last five: 12-1-2-9-16.
34.01
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
253 starts, 61 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 7-4-7-2-6.
8.98
3
The Coaster The Pucks
244 starts, 24 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 7-6-7-11-9.
58.65
4
Wide Load The Pucks
254 starts, 53 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 6-8-1-11-5.
7.46
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
242 starts, 1 win, average finish 14.4. Last five: 16-8-15-16-15.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
242 starts, 7 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 5-12-5-8-5.
73.20

Course preview

9 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
7m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
10m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
4m ↓11°
Smooth Descent Smooth
4m ↑11°
Smooth Descent Smooth
57m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
7m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
10m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
7m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
57m ↓15°

Crossbones with a hill cut into the approach — the two nastiest ideas in the sport bolted together on purpose. Eight laps, a junction taken twice a lap, and a climb a damaged Chunkle simply does not get up. This is the championship, and it has never once been won by anything still wearing half its rind. They present the trophy at the top of the hill, which most of the field never reaches, and the engraver is kept on standby because the winner is rarely in a fit state to spell its own name.

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