Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 11 · Round 30

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — The Lieutenant survives to win

The Lieutenant took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Tube Sock finished second. 11 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:41.583 11 +10 34 12.0
2 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:42.892 +1.31 4 +2 20 10.5
3 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:48.767 +7.18 3 0 20 10.7
4 Slapper PCK The Pucks 3:48.983 +7.40 14 +10 31 12.1
5 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 3:59.267 +17.68 8 +3 26 10.8
Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 +4 39 12.5
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -1 21 10.6
The Coaster WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +5 29 12.5
The Kidney WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -4 22 11.3
Big Randy WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -8 17 11.0
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -10 13 10.4
Thick Rick FELL NUG The Nuggets 9 -3 21 21.0
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 -1 21 11.8
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +2 11 11.6
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -8 11 10.2
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 10 11.5
2.317
They will not want to see that again. Recent finishes: 1-2-16-2-1.
9.042
Honey Mustard is losing bits. Recent finishes: 3-8-3-6-2.
13.317
That has come off. Recent finishes: 1-2-16-2-1.
18.067
That is a long way off the ground.
22.908
That is a long way off the ground. Recent finishes: 1-2-16-2-1.
27.117
Oh, that is a big one.
33.417
There is nothing left of it.
38.458
Big Randy leaves something behind.
42.933
That has come off. Recent finishes: 7-5-15-8-15.
47.417
Oh, that is a big one.
52.533
That has come off.
58.142
It is coming apart now.
1:00.625
That is Tube Sock taking Tender Greg with them.
1:05.475
Floppy Joe leaves something behind.
1:09.917
That is a long way off the ground.
1:16.625
Stripped to the shell.
1:23.500
There goes a piece of The Kidney.
1:27.892
And that is Yolk finished.
1:32.217
There goes a piece of Floppy Joe.
1:33.717
Pilot Light is out, and Crawlspace did it.
1:38.608
That is a long way off the ground.
1:45.592
That has come off.
1:50.958
Sweaty Gerald is airborne!
1:55.392
Look at the state of it.
1:58.267
Chunk will not be back.
2:03.975
That has come off.
2:09.842
Thick Rick is over the boards.
2:15.733
That was always going to happen.
2:20.008
There goes a piece of Big Randy.
2:24.783
Floppy Joe is out.
2:29.117
Crawlspace is losing bits.
2:33.575
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
2:39.567
That has come off.
2:43.767
That has come off.
2:48.083
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
2:53.358
Absolute carnage.
2:59.650
The Lieutenant is airborne!
3:04.142
Extraordinary scenes.
3:08.525
That was always going to happen.
3:10.025
And that is Big Randy finished.
3:12.225
One to go.
3:17.483
Wrecked, and out of the race.
3:23.692
Up it goes.
3:28.000
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
3:33.967
That is real damage.
3:35.767
The Kidney will not be back.
3:37.267
Wrecked, and out of the race.
3:38.583
Here comes The Lieutenant.
3:40.575
Crawlspace has put Sweaty Gerald out.
3:42.075
The Lieutenant wins the derby.
3:58.792
There goes a piece of Crawlspace.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Yolk 22.742 Yolk 22.742
Smooth Descent Clay Tender Greg 47.417 Tender Greg 24.134
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:09.258 The Coaster 19.800
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:30.733 The Coaster 21.475
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:57.317 Second Sock 24.442
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 2:23.992 Honey Mustard 22.808
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 2:48.975 The Lieutenant 22.700
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 3:12.225 The Lieutenant 20.059
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 5 2/2 8
2 PCK The Pucks 12 1/2 7
3 LMP Lump Patrol 14 1/2 6
4 BEA The Beans 16 0/2 5
5 NUG The Nuggets 18 0/2 4
6 HEA Basement Heat 20 1/2 3
7 NOO The Noodles 21 0/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 30 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
256 starts, 11 wins, average finish 9.1. Last five: 9-12-13-11-1.
219.30
1
Big Randy The Noodles
249 starts, 14 wins, average finish 6.2. Last five: 3-11-6-4-15.
20.40
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
273 starts, 39 wins, average finish 4.0. Last five: 1-4-3-3-2.
2.23
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
249 starts, 33 wins, average finish 4.1. Last five: 3-2-2-2-7.
2.55
6
The Kidney The Beans
256 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.1. Last five: 10-12-14-8-5.
219.30
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
246 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.9. Last five: 11-9-7-12-10.
219.30
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
236 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.6. Last five: 15-16-13-12-14.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
258 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.6. Last five: 8-13-2-5-9.
99.04
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
252 starts, 7 wins, average finish 7.3. Last five: 6-9-7-12-12.
26.08
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
261 starts, 9 wins, average finish 8.0. Last five: 2-1-6-4-7.
24.65
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
261 starts, 56 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 1-11-7-1-9.
8.24
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
217 starts, 6 wins, average finish 10.0. Last five: 14-7-14-10-10.
219.30
3
The Coaster The Pucks
257 starts, 25 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 11-3-2-11-7.
39.13
8
Slapper The Pucks
246 starts, 26 wins, average finish 8.6. Last five: 8-10-5-9-11.
174.97
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
256 starts, 1 win, average finish 14.4. Last five: 14-15-16-16-13.
219.30
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
253 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.3. Last five: 16-15-15-16-16.
219.30

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

On the record

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