Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 11 · Round 43

The Wall — Team Pack Race

The Board Track · The Wall · 101 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — The Lieutenant survives to win

The Lieutenant took The Wall — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Wide Load finished second. 8 competitors failed to finish. Basement Heat took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:02.850 11 +10 35 12.9
2 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:04.933 +2.08 14 +12 33 13.1
3 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:10.208 +7.36 8 +5 32 11.7
4 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:17.217 +14.37 5 +1 34 11.4
5 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:17.883 +15.03 2 -3 20 10.9
6 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:20.042 +17.19 3 -3 6 11.3
7 The Heel WET The Wet Socks 3:20.233 +17.38 4 -3 15 11.0
8 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 3:21.467 +18.62 7 -1 28 11.6
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -8 12 11.0
The Kidney WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -4 26 11.1
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +5 31 12.1
Gravy WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 0 25 12.6
Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 -3 32 12.2
Lil Nugget WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 -5 29 12.4
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 -2 16 12.1
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 12 11.8
2.250
Up it goes. Recent finishes: 4-6-8-6-4.
8.650
Puck Yeah is airborne! Recent finishes: 1-5-4-2-5.
15.325
Gravy is losing bits.
20.050
Lil Nugget is coming through. Recent finishes: 3-2-6-2-2.
24.708
Puck Yeah is losing bits.
29.583
Lil Nugget is losing bits.
33.825
Crawlspace is losing bits.
38.775
They felt that in the back row. Recent finishes: 4-12-1-3-4.
42.975
Yolk will not take much more. Recent finishes: 4-12-1-3-4.
45.492
Yolk is out, and Floppy Joe did it.
50.050
Look at Puck Yeah go.
55.083
That has come off.
59.625
That has come off.
1:05.542
Puck Yeah is out.
1:10.050
Lil Nugget is losing places.
1:14.450
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
1:20.050
Look at Honey Mustard go.
1:26.008
They felt that in the back row.
1:30.667
That has come off.
1:36.217
And it all goes wrong.
1:42.808
That is Wide Load taking Lil Nugget with them.
1:47.833
That is a long way off the ground.
1:53.017
Honey Mustard is out.
1:57.767
That is a long way off the ground.
2:03.942
Gravy is out, and Custard did it.
2:07.158
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:16.767
There is nothing protecting Floppy Joe now.
2:23.058
Crawlspace is losing bits.
2:27.050
Long John has put The Kidney out.
2:32.500
That is a long way off the ground.
2:37.817
That has come off.
2:46.350
Last lap.
2:50.742
Absolute carnage.
2:56.217
Crawlspace leaves something behind.
2:59.850
Here comes The Lieutenant.
3:02.850
The Lieutenant takes it!
3:04.792
Floppy Joe will not be back.
3:20.100
The Heel leaves something behind.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 13.658 Wide Load 13.658
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 28.492 Gravy 14.367
Smooth Descent Boards The Unit 44.492 Lil Nugget 12.625
Smooth Descent Boards The Unit 1:00.000 The Kidney 15.225
Smooth Descent Boards The Unit 1:16.217 The Lieutenant 13.883
Smooth Descent Boards The Unit 1:33.483 Honey Mustard 13.609
Smooth Descent Boards The Lieutenant 1:46.742 The Lieutenant 12.584
Smooth Descent Boards The Lieutenant 2:02.917 Wide Load 14.758
Smooth Descent Boards The Lieutenant 2:18.092 Wide Load 15.059
Smooth Descent Boards The Lieutenant 2:30.992 The Lieutenant 12.900
Smooth Descent Boards The Lieutenant 2:46.350 Wide Load 14.900
Smooth Descent Boards The Lieutenant 3:02.850 Wide Load 16.350
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 HEA Basement Heat 11 2/2 8
2 LMP Lump Patrol 13 1/2 7
3 WET The Wet Socks 13 2/2 6
4 BEA The Beans 14 1/2 5
5 NOO The Noodles 14 1/2 4
6 PCK The Pucks 17 1/2 3
7 SFT The Soft Boys 27 0/2 2
8 NUG The Nuggets 27 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
262 starts, 11 wins, average finish 9.1. Last five: 11-16-2-5-6.
140.94
7
Long John The Noodles
281 starts, 10 wins, average finish 5.6. Last five: 15-7-1-4-15.
15.69
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
256 starts, 33 wins, average finish 4.1. Last five: 2-2-7-9-2.
2.82
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
244 starts, 21 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 5-2-6-12-9.
11.91
22
Butter Bean The Beans
277 starts, 3 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 6-12-16-5-5.
41.43
6
The Kidney The Beans
263 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.1. Last five: 11-10-6-9-10.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
262 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.6. Last five: 6-5-8-9-8.
43.20
1
The Unit Basement Heat
263 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 13-7-2-16-8.
20.24
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
260 starts, 6 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 4-14-9-2-13.
109.64
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
268 starts, 9 wins, average finish 8.0. Last five: 3-6-11-6-12.
67.55
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
267 starts, 58 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 3-1-15-1-3.
3.96
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
274 starts, 35 wins, average finish 7.0. Last five: 13-16-5-12-4.
65.01
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
254 starts, 7 wins, average finish 12.1. Last five: 14-15-1-9-3.
219.30
4
Wide Load The Pucks
280 starts, 57 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 8-5-3-4-7.
4.34
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
256 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.3. Last five: 14-14-16-16-15.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
263 starts, 7 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 12-8-9-10-6.
145.38

Course preview

4 sections · 101 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
35m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
35m ↓15°

A velodrome that took a wrong turn somewhere and never came back. Twenty-six degrees of varnished pine holds the entire field at exactly the same radius whether anybody likes it or not, so the only way past a rival is straight through them. Nothing here chooses its own line; the banking chooses it, and the banking has no favourites and takes no notes. The boards were reclaimed from a real velodrome in 1991 and still carry the original lap markings under the tyre rubber, which no competitor has ever had a spare moment to read.

On the record

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Nobody has committed to anything yet.