Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 11 · Round 47

The Crucible

Crossbones Field · The Crucible · 161 m · 16 competitors Crossing traffic Track furniture Uphill section Steep banking
CHAMPIONSHIP FULL TIME Fairness
Loading the recording

Bringing up the cameras…

auto
Report

Carnage — Butter Bean survives to win

Butter Bean took The Crucible for the The Beans. Damp Kevin finished second. 13 competitors failed to finish. Lump Patrol took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:43.025 6 +5 36 10.3
2 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:43.617 +0.59 4 +2 27 10.4
3 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:53.567 +10.54 7 +4 37 10.5
Old Gristle FELL LMP Lump Patrol 11 +7 29 11.9
Gravy RUNNING LMP Lump Patrol 12 +7 29 11.5
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +9 18 11.0
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +6 21 11.8
Honey Mustard RUNNING NUG The Nuggets 10 +2 27 10.9
Stubbs RUNNING NUG The Nuggets 9 0 22 10.7
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -2 12 10.0
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +5 12 10.9
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -10 12 10.3
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -12 13 10.0
Sweaty Gerald RUNNING BEA The Beans 5 -9 9 10.4
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 -1 14 11.3
Tube Sock RUNNING WET The Wet Socks 3 -13 3 10.0
1.675
And it all goes wrong. Recent finishes: 5-10-6-8-8.
9.700
Extraordinary scenes. Recent finishes: 7-15-2-3-6.
14.175
Puck Yeah leaves something behind.
20.050
Stubbs is coming through.
26.633
Extraordinary scenes.
30.892
Slapper is airborne! Recent finishes: 1-2-3-2-1.
38.400
Old Gristle goes to the front. Career record: 76 wins from 354, average finish 3.7.
42.850
That has come off.
47.100
That is real damage.
49.800
Puck Yeah is out.
54.400
Old Gristle takes the lead.
58.692
Look at the state of it.
1:05.467
Sweaty Gerald is going nowhere.
1:10.050
Crooked Pete is coming through. Recent finishes: 5-11-6-10-8.
1:12.775
That is Crooked Pete taking Floppy Joe with them.
1:14.850
Crooked Pete is out, and Pilot Light did it.
1:20.050
Look at The Unit go.
1:24.442
You do not see that every day.
1:25.942
Yolk is out, and Old Gristle did it.
1:30.833
Up it goes.
1:33.992
And that is Pilot Light finished.
1:39.650
That was always going to happen.
1:44.233
They felt that in the back row.
1:48.883
There is nothing protecting Slapper now.
1:53.167
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
1:56.008
That is Old Gristle taking Custard with them.
2:00.608
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:07.050
That has come off.
2:11.325
Gravy leaves something behind.
2:19.808
Gravy is going nowhere.
2:24.800
The Unit leaves something behind.
2:44.950
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
2:50.450
And it all goes wrong.
3:09.725
This is the last of it.
3:14.200
The Unit is airborne!
3:19.800
A new leader — Butter Bean.
3:29.583
Stopped, and in the way.
3:40.025
Butter Bean is coming to the flag.
3:43.025
Butter Bean takes it!
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Stubbs 26.858 Stubbs 26.858
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 54.375 Old Gristle 26.492
Smooth Descent Clay Damp Kevin 1:21.867 Damp Kevin 27.192
Smooth Descent Clay Damp Kevin 1:48.225 Gravy 25.575
Smooth Descent Clay Damp Kevin 2:14.183 Damp Kevin 25.958
Smooth Descent Clay Damp Kevin 2:42.325 Butter Bean 26.875
Smooth Descent Clay Damp Kevin 3:09.725 Damp Kevin 27.400
Smooth Descent Clay Butter Bean 3:43.025 Butter Bean 26.558
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 LMP Lump Patrol 9 0/2 16
2 HEA Basement Heat 13 1/2 14
3 BEA The Beans 15 1/2 12
4 SFT The Soft Boys 17 0/2 10
5 NUG The Nuggets 17 0/2 8
6 WET The Wet Socks 18 1/2 6
7 PCK The Pucks 22 0/2 4
8 NOO The Noodles 25 0/2 2
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
262 starts, 11 wins, average finish 9.1. Last five: 11-16-2-5-6.
219.30
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
256 starts, 9 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 1-15-5-6-8.
101.77
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
256 starts, 33 wins, average finish 4.1. Last five: 2-2-7-9-2.
2.93
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
273 starts, 50 wins, average finish 3.9. Last five: 4-1-7-3-2.
2.14
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
260 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.9. Last five: 12-14-11-10-13.
219.30
22
Butter Bean The Beans
277 starts, 3 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 6-12-16-5-5.
62.92
1
The Unit Basement Heat
265 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 10-9-13-7-2.
44.79
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
242 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.6. Last five: 15-14-15-15-9.
219.30
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
269 starts, 16 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 4-10-12-12-9.
50.89
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
268 starts, 9 wins, average finish 8.0. Last five: 3-6-11-6-12.
46.20
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
284 starts, 72 wins, average finish 4.9. Last five: 1-1-5-1-8.
5.09
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
276 starts, 36 wins, average finish 7.0. Last five: 1-7-13-16-5.
45.61
8
Slapper The Pucks
255 starts, 26 wins, average finish 8.6. Last five: 6-15-12-13-4.
204.24
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
257 starts, 7 wins, average finish 12.1. Last five: 15-3-14-14-15.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
265 starts, 7 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 11-2-12-8-9.
90.49
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
256 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.3. Last five: 14-14-16-16-15.
219.30

Course preview

9 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
7m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
10m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
4m ↓11°
Smooth Descent Smooth
4m ↑11°
Smooth Descent Smooth
57m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
7m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
10m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
7m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
57m ↓15°

Crossbones with a hill cut into the approach — the two nastiest ideas in the sport bolted together on purpose. Eight laps, a junction taken twice a lap, and a climb a damaged Chunkle simply does not get up. This is the championship, and it has never once been won by anything still wearing half its rind. They present the trophy at the top of the hill, which most of the field never reaches, and the engraver is kept on standby because the winner is rarely in a fit state to spell its own name.

On the record

0 calls

Nobody has committed to anything yet.