Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 12 · Round 27

Washboard Ring — Team Pack Race

Washboard Yard · Washboard Ring · 135 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — The Lieutenant survives to win

The Lieutenant took Washboard Ring — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Damp Kevin finished second. 12 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:28.083 12 +11 33 11.9
2 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:43.367 +15.28 3 +1 57 10.3
3 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:44.692 +16.61 4 +1 56 10.5
4 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:47.708 +19.63 7 +3 69 10.4
Lil Nugget WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 +4 45 11.6
Long John RUNNING NOO The Noodles 2 -4 44 10.6
Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 +3 43 11.9
The Coaster WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 +6 24 12.8
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 11 +2 19 12.3
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +3 24 10.8
Crawlspace WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -3 18 9.9
The Kidney WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -6 25 10.4
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +2 25 10.8
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -9 19 10.7
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -14 13 10.4
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 0 11 12.0
1.592
Extraordinary scenes.
6.742
That is a long way off the ground.
11.342
Puck Yeah is losing bits.
16.083
That has come off. Recent finishes: 3-3-8-4-8.
20.400
The Coaster goes to the front.
25.800
Damp Kevin leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 8-6-6-12-4.
30.050
Look at the state of it.
34.675
That is Honey Mustard taking Yolk with them.
39.500
Sweaty Gerald leaves something behind.
44.633
There goes a piece of The Coaster. Recent finishes: 1-1-1-1-1.
50.000
Lil Nugget is losing bits. Recent finishes: 15-4-2-3-3.
53.467
Second Sock has put Floppy Joe out. Recent finishes: 8-3-7-13-8.
55.275
Sweaty Gerald is out, and Custard did it.
59.592
Chunk is losing bits.
1:04.150
A new leader — Chunk.
1:08.750
They felt that in the back row.
1:13.583
Look at the state of it.
1:19.275
They felt that in the back row.
1:20.775
Long John has put Custard out.
1:22.275
The Kidney will not be back.
1:26.492
And that is Crawlspace finished.
1:31.308
Extraordinary scenes.
1:36.700
There is nothing protecting Puck Yeah now.
1:39.333
That is Lil Nugget taking Puck Yeah with them.
1:44.792
The Coaster has nothing left on it.
1:50.100
That is a long way off the ground.
1:52.217
The Lieutenant has put Chunk out.
1:55.467
The Coaster is out.
2:00.700
A new leader — The Lieutenant.
2:06.425
The Unit leaves something behind.
2:11.800
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
2:16.425
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
2:21.242
That was always going to happen.
2:26.875
Up it goes.
2:33.117
There goes a piece of The Lieutenant.
2:35.175
Honey Mustard is out.
2:39.900
The Lieutenant takes the lead.
2:44.317
There goes a piece of The Lieutenant.
2:56.325
There goes a piece of The Unit.
3:03.808
Absolute carnage.
3:05.667
Last lap.
3:11.242
Absolute carnage.
3:19.608
That is a long way off the ground.
3:23.317
And that is Lil Nugget finished.
3:25.083
The Lieutenant has it.
3:28.083
It is The Lieutenant!
3:47.400
The Unit leaves something behind.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 22.742 The Coaster 22.742
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 43.408 The Coaster 20.666
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:08.725 Chunk 21.483
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:28.783 The Coaster 20.058
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:51.242 Honey Mustard 19.116
Smooth Descent Clay Lil Nugget 2:19.142 Lil Nugget 21.867
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:44.317 The Lieutenant 23.275
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 3:05.667 The Lieutenant 21.350
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 3:28.083 The Lieutenant 22.416
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 5 2/2 8
2 LMP Lump Patrol 10 1/2 7
3 NUG The Nuggets 12 0/2 6
4 HEA Basement Heat 15 1/2 5
5 PCK The Pucks 18 0/2 4
6 NOO The Noodles 21 0/2 3
7 BEA The Beans 26 0/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 29 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
287 starts, 11 wins, average finish 9.2. Last five: 4-15-3-4-15.
219.30
7
Long John The Noodles
295 starts, 11 wins, average finish 5.6. Last five: 9-6-3-3-4.
9.93
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
291 starts, 52 wins, average finish 3.8. Last five: 3-3-2-3-4.
2.87
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
303 starts, 42 wins, average finish 4.0. Last five: 2-7-1-2-5.
3.49
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
277 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.9. Last five: 10-8-4-13-12.
219.30
6
The Kidney The Beans
280 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.1. Last five: 12-8-9-12-9.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
281 starts, 5 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 11-10-5-9-13.
37.21
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
285 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.5. Last five: 9-7-12-4-2.
101.86
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
276 starts, 7 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 4-6-7-10-10.
71.19
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
292 starts, 10 wins, average finish 8.1. Last five: 13-6-13-8-14.
127.63
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
243 starts, 7 wins, average finish 10.0. Last five: 5-16-10-14-6.
219.30
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
286 starts, 65 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 2-1-1-5-5.
3.26
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
275 starts, 7 wins, average finish 12.1. Last five: 14-16-11-12-15.
219.30
3
The Coaster The Pucks
282 starts, 26 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 2-5-8-11-9.
42.90
21
Custard The Soft Boys
281 starts, 7 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 10-8-6-11-2.
133.36
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
281 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.3. Last five: 15-14-16-15-9.
219.30

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
14m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

Fourteen metres of corrugated deck plate laid across the main straight, crossed nine times a race. Nobody is ever taken out by it and nobody ever finishes intact — it does not wreck you, it disassembles you, one rivet at a time, and hands the pieces back at the flag. By the last lap the difference between a finisher and a heap of parts is simply who crossed it more cleanly. The stand sells earplugs at the gate; the noise is not a side effect, it is the attraction.

On the record

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