Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 12 · Round 4

Bowl Nine — Team Pack Race

Bowl Nine · Bowl Nine · 101 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — The Lieutenant survives to win

The Lieutenant took Bowl Nine — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Old Gristle finished second. 9 competitors failed to finish. Lump Patrol took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:38.933 12 +11 38 10.8
2 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:39.008 +0.08 11 +9 37 10.9
3 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:44.775 +5.84 4 +1 4 9.7
4 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:46.283 +7.35 14 +10 36 10.5
5 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:46.375 +7.44 3 -2 4 9.3
6 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 3:58.225 +19.29 8 +2 20 9.8
7 Crooked Pete NOO The Noodles 4:19.600 +40.67 2 -5 4 9.9
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +7 11 10.0
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +7 12 10.8
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -3 12 9.8
The Coaster FELL PCK The Pucks 13 +2 0 19.3
Honey Mustard FELL NUG The Nuggets 9 -3 0 19.2
Refried Ron FELL BEA The Beans 5 -8 0 19.3
Stubbs RUNNING NUG The Nuggets 10 -4 0 1.1
Floppy Joe FELL NOO The Noodles 1 -14 0 19.2
Sweaty Gerald RUNNING BEA The Beans 6 -10 0 2.0
1.792
You do not see that every day. Recent finishes: 6-10-5-10-6.
6.233
Beautiful. Just beautiful. That is 125 non-finishes in 364 career starts.
13.033
Pilot Light leaves something behind.
20.050
Extraordinary scenes. Recent finishes: 1-2-1-2-3.
26.092
Pilot Light is losing bits.
30.950
That has come off. Recent finishes: 8-4-8-5-8.
40.050
Look at Crooked Pete go. Recent finishes: 6-5-11-6-10.
46.700
Old Gristle goes to the front.
56.700
Wide Load takes the lead.
1:07.650
There goes a piece of Crooked Pete.
1:12.542
Sweaty Gerald has stalled.
1:18.933
Crawlspace is losing bits.
1:24.242
Yolk leaves something behind.
1:28.492
Pilot Light has nothing left on it.
1:34.292
There is nothing protecting Yolk now.
1:38.525
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
1:43.992
Crawlspace leaves something behind.
1:47.258
Yolk is out, and Second Sock did it.
1:48.758
Pilot Light will not be back.
1:50.258
Tender Greg will not be back.
1:55.275
Stopped, and in the way.
1:59.558
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
2:15.942
The Lieutenant is airborne!
2:24.700
Stopped, and in the way.
2:33.408
Up it goes.
2:47.800
Old Gristle takes the lead.
2:54.117
That is a long way off the ground.
3:07.650
A new leader — The Lieutenant.
3:18.733
Last lap.
3:25.550
There goes a piece of Crawlspace.
3:31.283
There is nothing left of it.
3:35.933
The Lieutenant has it.
3:37.433
Look at the state of it.
3:38.933
The Lieutenant wins the derby.
3:47.258
You do not see that every day.
4:02.492
Sweaty Gerald is going nowhere.
4:26.525
Oh, that is a big one.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 15.883 The Lieutenant 15.883
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 32.017 Wide Load 15.784
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 52.350 The Lieutenant 17.741
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:08.375 The Lieutenant 14.742
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:25.725 The Lieutenant 17.350
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:42.717 The Lieutenant 16.992
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:00.675 Old Gristle 16.283
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:21.367 Damp Kevin 18.675
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:40.767 Old Gristle 17.133
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:00.783 Old Gristle 18.375
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 3:18.733 The Lieutenant 17.383
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 3:38.933 Wide Load 17.083
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 LMP Lump Patrol 3 2/2 8
2 WET The Wet Socks 8 2/2 7
3 PCK The Pucks 15 1/2 6
4 HEA Basement Heat 16 1/2 5
5 SFT The Soft Boys 17 0/2 4
6 NOO The Noodles 22 1/2 3
7 NUG The Nuggets 26 0/2 2
8 BEA The Beans 29 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
267 starts, 11 wins, average finish 9.1. Last five: 13-6-12-9-9.
219.30
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
263 starts, 10 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 12-2-15-1-10.
219.30
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
285 starts, 40 wins, average finish 3.9. Last five: 4-4-2-2-4.
3.24
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
282 starts, 51 wins, average finish 3.8. Last five: 2-3-2-3-3.
2.61
5
Refried Ron The Beans
260 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.0. Last five: 15-8-14-7-12.
219.30
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
268 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.0. Last five: 14-12-16-13-14.
219.30
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
247 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 10-15-11-14-10.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
271 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.6. Last five: 6-7-8-13-11.
80.58
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
275 starts, 9 wins, average finish 8.1. Last five: 8-14-7-12-13.
213.09
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
277 starts, 16 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 9-11-9-11-16.
154.16
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
291 starts, 73 wins, average finish 4.9. Last five: 4-1-8-5-9.
5.65
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
275 starts, 61 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 1-8-1-5-11.
6.20
3
The Coaster The Pucks
266 starts, 25 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 13-15-11-10-8.
197.60
4
Wide Load The Pucks
290 starts, 58 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 6-11-2-6-4.
13.67
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
272 starts, 1 win, average finish 14.5. Last five: 16-14-16-16-16.
219.30
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
264 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.4. Last five: 11-16-16-16-16.
219.30

Course preview

4 sections · 101 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
25m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
25m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
25m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
25m ↓15°

No straights anywhere in it — one continuous circle, taken twelve times, which sounds peaceful and is not. It is the gentlest circuit on the calendar by damage and comfortably the hardest to overtake on, so a race here is decided by whoever can stand being second the longest. Whole afternoons pass with the order unchanged and the crowd slowly coming apart. The concession stand does its best business of the season at Bowl Nine, out of nothing but boredom.

On the record

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