Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 2 · Round 46

The Pinch — Team Pack Race

The Pinch Works · The Pinch · 135 m · 16 competitors Pinch points Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Tube Sock survives to win

Tube Sock took The Pinch — Team Pack Race for the The Wet Socks. The Heel finished second. 5 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:21.267 3 +2 10 10.4
2 The Heel WET The Wet Socks 3:22.675 +1.41 4 +2 14 10.5
3 Floppy Joe NOO The Noodles 3:23.317 +2.05 2 -1 12 10.6
4 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 3:23.858 +2.59 1 -3 14 10.2
5 Custard SFT The Soft Boys 3:23.883 +2.62 15 +10 28 11.2
6 Honey Mustard NUG The Nuggets 3:24.142 +2.88 10 +4 44 12.7
7 Slapper PCK The Pucks 3:25.958 +4.69 13 +6 43 11.9
8 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:27.108 +5.84 11 +3 37 11.7
9 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:31.608 +10.34 9 0 31 12.2
10 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 3:32.683 +11.42 8 -2 26 10.9
11 Sweaty Gerald BEA The Beans 3:36.492 +15.23 5 -6 26 10.8
The Kidney WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -6 20 10.6
The Coaster WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 +1 35 12.2
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 -2 30 12.3
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -8 13 10.6
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 0 16 11.4
2.317
They will not want to see that again. Recent finishes: 2-15-2-1-7.
7.400
The Kidney is losing bits. Recent finishes: 11-7-4-9-5.
11.750
They felt that in the back row.
16.708
Stubbs is airborne! Recent finishes: 4-3-2-5-6.
21.700
There goes a piece of Squish.
26.108
Chunk is airborne! Recent finishes: 2-15-2-1-7.
32.250
A new leader — Squish.
39.675
Absolute carnage.
45.617
Beautiful. Just beautiful. Recent finishes: 5-2-7-6-4.
49.975
The Coaster is airborne!
55.542
You do not see that every day.
1:00.050
That was always going to happen.
1:06.908
They will not want to see that again.
1:13.800
Up it goes.
1:20.050
Extraordinary scenes.
1:24.500
Squish goes to the front.
1:29.475
There is nothing protecting Squish now.
1:34.092
That is a long way off the ground.
1:38.508
It is coming apart now.
1:44.342
And it all goes wrong.
1:49.725
Floppy Joe is losing bits.
1:53.125
Squish is out, and The Coaster did it.
1:57.408
Up it goes.
2:02.083
That is a long way off the ground.
2:08.133
There is nothing left of it.
2:12.967
That has come off.
2:18.508
They will not want to see that again.
2:24.433
And it all goes wrong.
2:27.350
Radiator is out.
2:35.225
You do not see that every day.
2:40.050
There is nothing left of it.
2:47.392
Extraordinary scenes.
2:54.650
Tube Sock takes the lead.
2:59.700
The Coaster goes to the front.
3:02.425
The Coaster is out.
3:06.650
That is a long way off the ground.
3:12.092
You do not see that every day.
3:15.092
Chunk is out.
3:18.267
Tube Sock is coming to the flag.
3:21.267
Tube Sock wins the derby.
3:22.892
The Kidney is out.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 21.825 Custard 21.825
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 44.508 The Lieutenant 22.033
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:07.783 The Coaster 21.933
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:28.367 Squish 19.750
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 1:52.150 Honey Mustard 19.975
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 2:14.425 The Coaster 20.683
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 2:34.725 The Coaster 20.300
Smooth Descent Clay Tube Sock 2:59.742 Honey Mustard 20.550
Smooth Descent Clay Tube Sock 3:21.267 The Heel 21.383
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 3 2/2 8
2 NOO The Noodles 7 2/2 7
3 NUG The Nuggets 15 2/2 6
4 PCK The Pucks 20 1/2 5
5 SFT The Soft Boys 21 1/2 4
6 LMP Lump Patrol 22 1/2 3
7 BEA The Beans 23 1/2 2
8 HEA Basement Heat 25 1/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
1
Big Randy The Noodles
49 starts, 2 wins, average finish 6.5. Last five: 11-1-4-6-3.
9.49
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
32 starts, 2 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 3-4-5-7-11.
23.81
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
51 starts, 4 wins, average finish 4.4. Last five: 6-2-3-2-2.
2.24
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
30 starts, 5 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 1-2-4-6-10.
4.13
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
49 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.2. Last five: 14-5-13-16-11.
219.30
6
The Kidney The Beans
36 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.1. Last five: 12-11-14-13-8.
219.30
4
Radiator Basement Heat
50 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.1. Last five: 9-13-14-12-15.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
45 starts, 0 wins, average finish 8.4. Last five: 7-13-6-6-9.
52.37
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
41 starts, 3 wins, average finish 8.1. Last five: 9-14-12-2-6.
51.62
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
36 starts, 1 win, average finish 7.7. Last five: 11-7-2-14-10.
36.87
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
36 starts, 7 wins, average finish 5.2. Last five: 3-10-8-6-3.
5.77
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
39 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.3. Last five: 14-9-11-7-13.
219.30
8
Slapper The Pucks
40 starts, 3 wins, average finish 8.2. Last five: 16-10-8-6-14.
115.27
3
The Coaster The Pucks
45 starts, 5 wins, average finish 8.0. Last five: 8-8-10-3-14.
44.87
21
Custard The Soft Boys
40 starts, 3 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 4-12-9-11-3.
42.69
2
Squish The Soft Boys
37 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.1. Last five: 5-14-8-15-10.
219.30

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

A disused rolling mill with an oval laid through the old loading bay, and a gap in the wall under four metres wide. Sixteen arrive at that gap together, two get through, and the rest sort it out — nine times a race, in front of a crowd that has stopped pretending it came for any other reason. The wall is original ironwork and has never once been repainted, on the grounds that it would only want doing again by Tuesday. Standing room is capped for reasons the management prefers not to put in writing.

On the record

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