Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 6 · Round 20

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — The Coaster survives to win

The Coaster took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the The Pucks. The Lieutenant finished second. 10 competitors failed to finish. Lump Patrol took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 The Coaster PCK The Pucks 3:17.708 14 +13 20 12.3
2 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:40.450 +22.74 12 +10 36 12.0
3 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:41.733 +24.03 11 +8 32 11.3
4 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:44.758 +27.05 10 +6 48 11.4
5 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:46.283 +28.58 3 -2 16 11.8
6 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 3:48.308 +30.60 1 -5 18 10.7
The Unit RUNNING HEA Basement Heat 8 +1 28 10.9
The Heel WRECKED WET The Wet Socks 4 -4 20 10.5
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -3 22 10.8
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +6 22 11.6
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -9 13 10.4
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +1 20 12.0
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +2 12 11.8
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -7 11 10.5
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -10 13 10.3
Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 -7 19 11.8
3.400
A new leader — Squish. Career record: 3 wins from 185, average finish 6.1.
9.800
Honey Mustard takes the lead. Career record: 15 wins from 175, average finish 4.6.
14.208
Up it goes. Recent finishes: 6-12-3-3-7.
20.050
Stubbs is coming through. Recent finishes: 10-2-8-13-5.
24.992
The Heel is losing bits.
29.883
Puck Yeah is losing bits. Recent finishes: 3-2-1-1-10.
35.517
Yolk is losing bits.
39.883
There goes a piece of Honey Mustard.
47.425
There goes a piece of Puck Yeah.
51.942
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
56.400
Refried Ron leaves something behind.
1:02.808
And it all goes wrong.
1:07.633
Look at the state of it.
1:12.583
There is nothing left of it.
1:16.975
That is a long way off the ground.
1:22.167
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
1:26.558
That was always going to happen.
1:32.367
There goes a piece of Squish.
1:34.242
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:38.492
They felt that in the back row.
1:43.767
And that is Puck Yeah finished.
1:45.267
Yolk will not be back.
1:46.767
Refried Ron will not be back.
1:48.392
That is The Unit taking Pilot Light with them.
1:53.275
That was always going to happen.
1:58.300
Extraordinary scenes.
2:06.383
That was always going to happen.
2:13.883
They will not want to see that again.
2:18.325
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
2:22.800
Up it goes.
2:27.875
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
2:32.400
The Heel is losing bits.
2:39.017
They will not want to see that again.
2:43.317
Floppy Joe is in trouble.
2:45.583
That is The Coaster taking Floppy Joe with them.
2:50.783
The Lieutenant is airborne!
2:52.283
Squish is out.
2:54.767
One to go.
2:59.492
They felt that in the back row.
3:09.017
Stubbs is losing bits.
3:14.708
Here comes The Coaster.
3:16.667
There is nothing protecting Sweaty Gerald now.
3:18.167
It is The Coaster!
3:24.567
That is a long way off the ground.
3:33.208
Sweaty Gerald is in trouble.
3:39.492
Stubbs is losing bits.
3:40.992
And that is The Heel finished.
3:46.525
Sweaty Gerald will not be back.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 20.633 The Coaster 20.633
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 40.625 The Coaster 19.992
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:05.283 Puck Yeah 22.066
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:24.575 The Coaster 19.292
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:51.525 Stubbs 20.650
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 2:15.058 The Coaster 23.533
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 2:34.817 The Coaster 19.759
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 2:54.767 The Coaster 19.950
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 LMP Lump Patrol 5 2/2 8
2 PCK The Pucks 13 1/2 7
3 WET The Wet Socks 13 1/2 6
4 NOO The Noodles 17 1/2 5
5 NUG The Nuggets 20 1/2 4
6 HEA Basement Heat 21 0/2 3
7 SFT The Soft Boys 23 0/2 2
8 BEA The Beans 24 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
1
Big Randy The Noodles
128 starts, 7 wins, average finish 6.1. Last five: 16-5-2-4-3.
14.82
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
125 starts, 4 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 12-12-5-12-4.
182.94
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
121 starts, 18 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 1-3-5-1-5.
2.55
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
109 starts, 12 wins, average finish 5.4. Last five: 3-8-10-1-5.
9.90
5
Refried Ron The Beans
129 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.7. Last five: 7-15-15-11-10.
219.30
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
124 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.0. Last five: 8-6-13-13-6.
219.30
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
115 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 15-16-16-16-8.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
124 starts, 3 wins, average finish 7.3. Last five: 2-8-3-3-4.
15.24
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
125 starts, 5 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 5-4-2-2-10.
23.13
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
126 starts, 8 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 8-6-12-7-7.
23.56
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
136 starts, 33 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 1-3-14-2-6.
2.83
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
122 starts, 29 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 16-2-13-16-15.
21.18
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
123 starts, 3 wins, average finish 12.4. Last five: 15-3-15-14-13.
219.30
3
The Coaster The Pucks
134 starts, 12 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 14-1-9-9-6.
63.73
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
127 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.2. Last five: 14-15-13-5-11.
219.30
2
Squish The Soft Boys
125 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.7. Last five: 4-13-4-4-11.
219.30

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

On the record

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