Paper Mogul Sports
· Season 8 · Round 20

The Banister Classic — Team Pack Race

Nan's Landing · The Banister Classic · 659 m · 16 competitors Soft surfaces Heavy drops Pinch points Uphill section Peg chaos Slick floor Curve heavy
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Slapper survives to win

Slapper took The Banister Classic — Team Pack Race for the The Pucks. The Lieutenant finished second. 5 competitors failed to finish. Lump Patrol took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Slapper PCK The Pucks 8:11.695 11 +10 31 16.6
2 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 8:33.350 +21.66 2 0 35 13.8
3 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 8:39.967 +28.27 3 0 40 13.7
4 Yolk SFT The Soft Boys 9:18.450 +66.76 14 +10 39 13.1
5 Honey Mustard NUG The Nuggets 9:30.095 +78.40 6 +1 27 14.1
Wide Load INCOMPLETE PCK The Pucks 9:35.673 +83.98 16 +10 33 16.0
Tender Greg INCOMPLETE SFT The Soft Boys 9:42.895 +91.20 1 -6 33 12.4
8 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 9:45.617 +93.92 12 +4 31 14.8
9 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 9:48.099 +96.40 5 -4 42 12.3
Damp Kevin INCOMPLETE WET The Wet Socks 9:49.350 +97.66 4 -6 36 13.7
11 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 9:54.723 +103.03 8 -3 43 12.2
12 The Heel WET The Wet Socks 9:54.806 +103.11 15 +3 35 14.5
13 Floppy Joe NOO The Noodles 9:59.950 +108.26 13 0 33 14.0
14 Pilot Light HEA Basement Heat 10:03.683 +111.99 7 -7 37 15.4
Stubbs INCOMPLETE NUG The Nuggets 10:03.822 +112.13 10 -5 32 12.9
Sweaty Gerald INCOMPLETE BEA The Beans 10:21.566 +129.87 9 -7 45 12.1
0.017
Well, that was always going to happen.
4.200
Wide Load takes the lead.
8.033
They will not want to see that again.
11.456
And Slapper takes flight. Recent finishes: 1-5-2-7-1.
15.133
Up goes Honey Mustard. Recent finishes: 3-3-15-1-2.
20.278
Tender Greg is airborne.
24.033
It is chaos out there.
27.906
Absolute carnage.
31.800
Oh dear.
35.600
And Stubbs takes flight. Recent finishes: 3-1-3-3-6.
39.006
And Floppy Joe takes flight. Recent finishes: 6-5-7-9-7.
42.417
Somebody is going to have to explain that.
45.983
Somebody is going to have to explain that. Recent finishes: 7-13-4-5-8.
50.000
Old Gristle is airborne.
54.444
No idea what happened there.
58.011
And it all goes wrong.
1:01.800
Butter Bean gets air.
1:05.967
The Lieutenant takes a knock.
1:09.994
Well, that was always going to happen.
1:14.133
Up goes Wide Load.
1:17.811
That is the sport, right there.
1:21.439
Old Gristle gets air.
1:26.033
Absolute carnage.
1:29.600
Big air for Damp Kevin.
1:33.322
That is the sport, right there.
1:36.761
That is going to sting in the morning.
1:40.217
Honey Mustard is completely off the deck.
1:43.778
Big air for Tender Greg.
1:51.478
And it all goes wrong.
1:52.528
Slapper has it.
1:55.067
You do not see that every day.
1:58.467
It is Slapper!
2:02.511
That is a big one for The Heel.
2:09.283
Big Randy gets hit hard.
2:13.517
Honey Mustard finds trouble.
2:19.094
You do not see that every day.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Starting Ramp Carpet The Heel 1.594 Wide Load 1.572
Smooth Descent Carpet Wide Load 4.956 Old Gristle 3.006
Sweeping Curve Carpet Stubbs 7.450 Stubbs 2.256
Smooth Descent Carpet Stubbs 10.483 Slapper 2.950
The Drops Carpet Stubbs 12.567 Slapper 1.689
The Spiral Metal Slapper 18.822 Slapper 6.466
Laundry Chute Soft fabric Slapper 21.433 Slapper 2.611
Rotating Drum Metal Slapper 23.778 Wide Load 1.200
Narrow Pipe Metal Slapper 27.289 Wide Load 1.272
The Drops Metal Wide Load 28.650 Wide Load 1.128
Stairwell Hard Wide Load 29.894 Wide Load 1.244
Carpet Flat Carpet Wide Load 31.206 Wide Load 1.312
Tight Curve Carpet Wide Load 33.289 The Lieutenant 1.917
The Hairpin Smooth Wide Load 38.839 Wide Load 5.550
Stairwell Hard Wide Load 42.161 Slapper 3.189
Fabric Run Soft fabric Wide Load 44.044 Slapper 1.817
The Drops Hard Wide Load 45.722 Wide Load 1.678
Carpet Flat Carpet Wide Load 47.739 Slapper 2.011
Fabric Run Soft fabric Wide Load 49.089 Slapper 1.334
Sweeping Curve Carpet Wide Load 51.106 Wide Load 2.017
The Kicker Smooth Wide Load 52.600 Slapper 1.395
Carpet Flat Carpet Wide Load 54.894 The Lieutenant 1.856
The Spiral Metal Slapper 1:03.911 The Lieutenant 0.489
Laundry Chute Soft fabric Slapper 1:06.683 Slapper 2.772
Rotating Drum Metal Wide Load 1:08.383 Wide Load 1.272
Narrow Pipe Metal Wide Load 1:09.689 Wide Load 1.306
The Drops Metal Wide Load 1:10.894 Wide Load 1.205
Peg Field Hard Wide Load 1:12.017 Wide Load 1.123
The Pinball Table Slick Wide Load 1:13.472 Wide Load 1.455
Collision Funnel Hard Wide Load 1:14.222 Wide Load 0.750
Smooth Descent Hard Wide Load 1:15.744 Slapper 1.167
Barrier Run Smooth Wide Load 1:17.011 Slapper 0.977
Sweeping Curve Smooth Wide Load 1:18.694 Wide Load 1.683
Bounce Pads Smooth Wide Load 1:21.028 Slapper 1.500
S-Bend Smooth Slapper 1:25.678 Honey Mustard 2.705
Tight Curve Smooth Wide Load 1:29.967 The Lieutenant 3.550
The Funnel Smooth Wide Load 1:32.200 Slapper 2.211
Narrow Pipe Metal Wide Load 1:34.511 Wide Load 2.311
The Gauntlet Smooth Wide Load 1:36.456 Wide Load 1.945
The Hairpin Smooth Wide Load 1:40.094 Wide Load 3.638
Split Route Smooth Wide Load 1:42.794 Yolk 2.505
Sweeping Curve Carpet Wide Load 1:46.911 The Lieutenant 4.011
Final Sprint Carpet Wide Load 1:49.678 Wide Load 2.767
Target Zone Carpet Slapper 1:53.444 Stubbs 1.316
Exit Gate Carpet Slapper 1:55.528 Stubbs 1.239
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 LMP Lump Patrol 5 2/2 8
2 PCK The Pucks 7 1/2 7
3 SFT The Soft Boys 11 1/2 6
4 NUG The Nuggets 20 1/2 5
5 NOO The Noodles 21 2/2 4
6 WET The Wet Socks 22 1/2 3
7 BEA The Beans 25 1/2 2
8 HEA Basement Heat 25 2/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
1
Big Randy The Noodles · HOME
206 starts, 2 wins, average finish 6.9. Last five: 12-8-7-5-16.
96.86
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles · HOME
188 starts, 3 wins, average finish 7.2. Last five: 9-7-5-14-7.
77.24
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
203 starts, 1 win, average finish 6.8. Last five: 9-4-5-5-4.
53.80
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
205 starts, 2 wins, average finish 6.9. Last five: 7-13-5-5-8.
120.64
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
201 starts, 2 wins, average finish 7.1. Last five: 8-8-11-7-6.
110.65
22
Butter Bean The Beans
207 starts, 2 wins, average finish 7.0. Last five: 8-16-13-8-10.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
207 starts, 1 win, average finish 7.0. Last five: 10-2-6-13-6.
81.13
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
205 starts, 2 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 2-15-7-6-7.
177.20
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
202 starts, 16 wins, average finish 4.9. Last five: 6-3-2-4-2.
14.36
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
196 starts, 17 wins, average finish 4.7. Last five: 3-2-2-2-4.
7.40
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol · HOME
203 starts, 57 wins, average finish 3.9. Last five: 2-1-2-8-1.
4.60
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol · HOME
214 starts, 52 wins, average finish 4.1. Last five: 1-4-4-2-8.
7.05
8
Slapper The Pucks
205 starts, 94 wins, average finish 3.4. Last five: 1-1-1-3-1.
4.11
4
Wide Load The Pucks
193 starts, 79 wins, average finish 3.8. Last five: 1-3-1-1-1.
5.92
0
Yolk The Soft Boys · HOME
210 starts, 3 wins, average finish 5.8. Last five: 3-6-4-3-3.
26.67
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys · HOME
193 starts, 0 wins, average finish 5.8. Last five: 4-4-3-4-3.
22.12

Course preview

45 sections · 659 m
Starting Ramp Carpet
8m ↓24°
Smooth Descent Carpet
20m ↓15°
Sweeping Curve Carpet
16m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Carpet
16m ↓15°
The Drops Carpet
14m ↓32°
The Spiral Metal
26m ↓19°
Laundry Chute Soft fabric
18m ↓35°
Rotating Drum Metal
12m ↓9°
Narrow Pipe Metal
13m ↓18°
The Drops Metal
14m ↓32°
Stairwell Hard
16m ↓31°
Carpet Flat Carpet
14m ↓10°
Tight Curve Carpet
11m ↓12°
The Hairpin Smooth
14m ↓16°
Stairwell Hard
16m ↓31°
Fabric Run Soft fabric
12m ↓11°
The Drops Hard
14m ↓32°
Carpet Flat Carpet
18m ↓10°
Fabric Run Soft fabric
12m ↓11°
Sweeping Curve Carpet
16m ↓13°
The Kicker Smooth
9m ↓11°
Carpet Flat Carpet
14m ↓10°
The Spiral Metal
26m ↓19°
Laundry Chute Soft fabric
18m ↓35°
Rotating Drum Metal
12m ↓9°
Narrow Pipe Metal
13m ↓18°
The Drops Metal
14m ↓32°
Peg Field Hard
14m ↓32°
The Pinball Table Slick
20m ↓14°
Collision Funnel Hard
10m ↓16°
Smooth Descent Hard
16m ↓15°
Barrier Run Smooth
14m ↓22°
Sweeping Curve Smooth
16m ↓13°
Bounce Pads Smooth
14m ↓22°
S-Bend Smooth
18m ↓12°
Tight Curve Smooth
11m ↓12°
The Funnel Smooth
11m ↓17°
Narrow Pipe Metal
13m ↓18°
The Gauntlet Smooth
17m ↓22°
The Hairpin Smooth
14m ↓16°
Split Route Smooth
16m ↓22°
Sweeping Curve Carpet
16m ↓13°
Final Sprint Carpet
18m ↓16°
Target Zone Carpet
8m ↓5°
Exit Gate Carpet
7m ↓8°

Two full spiral banister descents, run as a pack, and rarely tidy. The rail is the original, waxed once a season by somebody the league declines to name, and the field is told every year that this is fine.

On the record

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