Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 1 · Round 20

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Thick Rick survives to win

Thick Rick took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the The Nuggets. Old Gristle finished second. 9 competitors failed to finish. The Nuggets took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:10.442 10 +9 39 12.0
2 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:35.608 +25.17 11 +9 30 11.8
3 Custard SFT The Soft Boys 3:39.392 +28.95 16 +13 23 11.3
4 The Heel WET The Wet Socks 3:43.400 +32.96 4 0 20 10.5
5 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 3:46.208 +35.77 2 -3 13 11.0
6 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:46.575 +36.13 3 -3 17 11.2
7 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:46.975 +36.53 12 +5 28 11.9
Lil Nugget RUNNING NUG The Nuggets 9 +1 38 13.6
Crawlspace RUNNING HEA Basement Heat 8 -1 23 10.5
The Coaster WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 +4 31 12.3
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -10 12 10.7
The Kidney WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -7 27 10.4
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -7 22 10.5
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 -1 17 12.6
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -8 13 10.9
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 11 11.5
3.650
A new leader — Custard.
7.925
Extraordinary scenes. Recent finishes: 7-6-11-7-11.
12.933
They felt that in the back row.
20.050
Look at The Coaster go.
24.583
Absolute carnage.
30.050
Look at Lil Nugget go.
36.167
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up. Recent finishes: 3-1-3-3-16.
41.392
That has come off.
46.067
That has come off. Recent finishes: 4-4-4-8-5.
51.017
Up it goes.
56.958
The Coaster is losing bits. Recent finishes: 1-2-8-3-2.
1:01.350
Absolute carnage. Recent finishes: 4-4-4-8-5.
1:05.675
There is nothing left of it.
1:10.050
There is nothing left of it.
1:13.667
Tender Greg is out, and Custard did it.
1:18.208
There is nothing left of it.
1:23.133
And it all goes wrong.
1:27.333
There goes a piece of Lil Nugget.
1:32.967
You do not see that every day.
1:34.467
Radiator will not be back.
1:41.142
That was always going to happen.
1:46.683
That is a long way off the ground.
1:51.392
Up it goes.
1:52.892
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:57.258
The Coaster leaves something behind.
2:01.942
The Kidney leaves something behind.
2:06.225
Big Randy is losing bits.
2:07.725
And that is Sweaty Gerald finished.
2:14.025
Absolute carnage.
2:18.742
That is a long way off the ground.
2:20.242
And that is The Kidney finished.
2:28.400
The Coaster takes the lead.
2:34.650
A new leader — Thick Rick.
2:39.633
Extraordinary scenes.
2:43.083
That is The Heel taking Floppy Joe with them.
2:47.917
Thick Rick is airborne!
2:52.208
They will not want to see that again.
2:59.200
Thick Rick goes to the front.
3:06.800
The Heel is losing bits.
3:07.442
Here comes Thick Rick.
3:10.400
One to go.
3:11.900
It is Thick Rick!
3:19.967
Lil Nugget is losing bits.
3:26.017
And that is The Coaster finished.
3:32.675
Lil Nugget is airborne!
3:43.133
Lil Nugget leaves something behind.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Tender Greg 22.150 Tender Greg 22.150
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 44.217 The Coaster 21.567
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:08.208 Puck Yeah 21.250
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 1:32.792 Puck Yeah 21.883
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:55.617 Thick Rick 21.083
Smooth Descent Clay Thick Rick 2:21.600 Old Gristle 23.150
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 2:46.642 The Lieutenant 22.291
Smooth Descent Clay Thick Rick 3:10.400 Old Gristle 22.975
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 NUG The Nuggets 9 1/2 8
2 LMP Lump Patrol 9 2/2 7
3 WET The Wet Socks 10 2/2 6
4 NOO The Noodles 16 1/2 5
5 SFT The Soft Boys 19 1/2 4
6 HEA Basement Heat 24 0/2 3
7 PCK The Pucks 24 0/2 2
8 BEA The Beans 25 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
2 starts, 0 wins, average finish 9.5. Last five: 5-14.
20.62
1
Big Randy The Noodles
6 starts, 0 wins, average finish 4.8. Last five: 8-2-4-7-4.
5.36
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
8 starts, 0 wins, average finish 6.8. Last five: 6-4-9-7-5.
17.49
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
Debut appearance.
19.09
6
The Kidney The Beans
1 start, 0 wins, average finish 12.0. Last five: 12.
40.07
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
7 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.4. Last five: 8-14-11-12-13.
219.30
4
Radiator Basement Heat
6 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.3. Last five: 10-11-15-13-8.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
7 starts, 0 wins, average finish 7.3. Last five: 10-8-9-10-6.
20.08
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
10 starts, 0 wins, average finish 9.6. Last five: 15-14-6-8-7.
127.65
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
3 starts, 1 win, average finish 5.0. Last five: 2-12-1.
6.44
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
11 starts, 2 wins, average finish 5.3. Last five: 7-2-5-8-2.
5.46
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
4 starts, 0 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 4-5-6-2.
5.08
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
Debut appearance.
17.47
3
The Coaster The Pucks
7 starts, 1 win, average finish 7.6. Last five: 13-1-2-13-10.
40.85
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
8 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.5. Last five: 16-16-16-15-16.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
1 start, 0 wins, average finish 6.0. Last five: 6.
11.30

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

On the record

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