Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 1 · Round 41

The Saucer — Team Pack Race

Saucer Park · The Saucer · 107 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Old Gristle survives to win

Old Gristle took The Saucer — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. The Lieutenant finished second. 8 competitors failed to finish. Lump Patrol took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:34.267 11 +10 36 12.1
2 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:41.808 +7.54 12 +10 35 12.1
3 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:42.525 +8.26 14 +11 38 11.8
4 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:42.575 +8.31 4 0 13 10.7
5 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:45.883 +11.62 3 -2 20 10.5
6 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 3:47.642 +13.38 2 -4 18 10.8
7 Lil Nugget NUG The Nuggets 3:52.292 +18.03 9 +2 35 11.6
8 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:55.992 +21.73 10 +2 46 12.0
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +4 38 11.5
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -4 26 10.2
The Kidney WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -6 23 10.6
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +4 29 11.4
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -12 13 10.3
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -7 13 9.9
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -7 11 10.6
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 11 11.6
2.250
Custard takes the lead.
8.467
That has come off. Recent finishes: 5-3-3-6-4.
13.175
They will not want to see that again.
18.008
There goes a piece of Puck Yeah. Recent finishes: 1-1-1-1-1.
22.767
That is a long way off the ground.
28.642
There goes a piece of Pilot Light. Recent finishes: 7-5-15-5-14.
34.900
Old Gristle is airborne!
39.992
Sweaty Gerald leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 3-4-8-5-5.
44.600
Up it goes. Recent finishes: 4-2-1-3-1.
49.183
Stripped to the shell.
54.542
That has come off.
57.667
Tender Greg will not be back.
1:03.050
That has come off.
1:07.908
Look at the state of it.
1:12.875
Up it goes.
1:17.275
That has come off.
1:22.400
Up it goes.
1:29.667
Up it goes.
1:31.383
Pilot Light is out.
1:37.358
Absolute carnage.
1:41.008
That is Old Gristle taking Radiator with them.
1:45.650
Floppy Joe is losing bits.
1:50.050
And it all goes wrong.
1:54.325
That was always going to happen.
2:01.008
They felt that in the back row.
2:06.108
Up it goes.
2:10.917
Oh, that is a big one.
2:16.917
Up it goes.
2:24.942
There is nothing left of it.
2:29.242
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
2:33.758
Extraordinary scenes.
2:39.533
There goes a piece of Puck Yeah.
2:41.325
That is Tube Sock taking Floppy Joe with them.
2:45.608
Custard will not take much more.
2:53.283
That is Tube Sock taking Custard with them.
2:59.325
There goes a piece of Puck Yeah.
3:04.125
That has come off.
3:08.975
Stubbs is losing bits.
3:13.217
Last lap.
3:18.800
Puck Yeah has nothing left on it.
3:24.325
Wide Load is airborne!
3:31.008
That is a long way off the ground.
3:31.267
Old Gristle has it.
3:34.267
It is Old Gristle!
3:35.767
Wrecked, and out of the race.
3:41.350
Lil Nugget is losing bits.
3:42.850
The Kidney is out, and The Lieutenant did it.
3:44.825
And that is Sweaty Gerald finished.
3:55.817
Stubbs leaves something behind.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 16.267 Custard 16.267
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 30.883 Old Gristle 14.075
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 45.492 Old Gristle 14.609
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:04.117 Stubbs 17.417
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:22.950 Puck Yeah 17.792
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:41.208 Puck Yeah 15.866
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:59.950 Wide Load 17.558
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:19.225 Puck Yeah 15.742
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:37.467 The Lieutenant 14.667
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:56.475 Tube Sock 18.184
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:13.217 The Lieutenant 14.850
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:34.267 Stubbs 17.909
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 LMP Lump Patrol 3 2/2 8
2 WET The Wet Socks 9 2/2 7
3 PCK The Pucks 12 1/2 6
4 NUG The Nuggets 15 2/2 5
5 NOO The Noodles 19 1/2 4
6 BEA The Beans 21 0/2 3
7 SFT The Soft Boys 28 0/2 2
8 HEA Basement Heat 29 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
10 starts, 0 wins, average finish 8.1. Last five: 6-7-9-11-3.
76.63
1
Big Randy The Noodles
20 starts, 0 wins, average finish 6.3. Last five: 4-11-2-6-15.
20.25
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
19 starts, 1 win, average finish 5.7. Last five: 5-5-5-3-10.
9.71
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
21 starts, 5 wins, average finish 3.3. Last five: 1-3-4-3-2.
1.95
6
The Kidney The Beans
14 starts, 0 wins, average finish 9.5. Last five: 3-7-11-6-8.
96.25
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
16 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.2. Last five: 16-9-13-12-12.
219.30
4
Radiator Basement Heat
18 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.3. Last five: 15-15-15-15-16.
219.30
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
16 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.7. Last five: 14-12-13-13-15.
219.30
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
18 starts, 0 wins, average finish 9.3. Last five: 7-2-13-13-8.
140.26
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
16 starts, 2 wins, average finish 7.1. Last five: 6-1-2-3-10.
20.98
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
22 starts, 6 wins, average finish 4.7. Last five: 1-15-2-1-7.
5.79
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
16 starts, 4 wins, average finish 4.4. Last five: 3-10-1-8-2.
6.04
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
13 starts, 2 wins, average finish 11.5. Last five: 13-11-14-1-7.
219.30
4
Wide Load The Pucks
15 starts, 4 wins, average finish 6.6. Last five: 16-7-5-1-11.
28.24
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
15 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.3. Last five: 15-10-16-16-16.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
14 starts, 1 win, average finish 7.4. Last five: 10-13-10-4-9.
59.00

Course preview

4 sections · 107 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

Short, banked, clay, and nowhere to hide — twelve laps of the same two corners with the whole field welded to the same line. It is the sport at its most basic and still puts one competitor in the wall most weeks. The grandstand was built on the outside of turn two for the obvious reason: that is where everything ends up, and those seats come with a complimentary poncho. The clay is rolled smooth every morning and looks, for about four minutes, like it might be safe. It is not.

On the record

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