Derby · Season 1 · Round 43
The Wall — Team Pack Race
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Carnage — The Unit survives to win
The Unit took The Wall — Team Pack Race for the Basement Heat. Damp Kevin finished second. 10 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.
| # | Competitor | Team | Time | Gap | Grid | +/- | Contacts | Top speed |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Unit | Basement Heat | 3:16.650 | — | 8 | +7 | 35 | 11.8 |
| 2 | Damp Kevin | The Wet Socks | 3:16.833 | +0.18 | 3 | +1 | 25 | 11.4 |
| 3 | Big Randy | The Noodles | 3:19.975 | +3.33 | 1 | -2 | 15 | 11.2 |
| 4 | Thick Rick | The Nuggets | 3:20.917 | +4.27 | 9 | +5 | 60 | 12.3 |
| 5 | Floppy Joe | The Noodles | 3:21.275 | +4.63 | 2 | -3 | 5 | 11.1 |
| 6 | The Heel | The Wet Socks | 3:21.475 | +4.83 | 4 | -2 | 14 | 11.0 |
| — | Honey Mustard WRECKED | The Nuggets | — | — | 10 | +3 | 50 | 12.3 |
| — | Gravy WRECKED | Lump Patrol | — | — | 11 | +3 | 33 | 13.0 |
| — | The Kidney WRECKED | The Beans | — | — | 6 | -3 | 26 | 11.3 |
| — | Crawlspace WRECKED | Basement Heat | — | — | 7 | -3 | 43 | 11.6 |
| — | Sweaty Gerald WRECKED | The Beans | — | — | 5 | -6 | 28 | 11.2 |
| — | The Coaster WRECKED | The Pucks | — | — | 13 | +1 | 20 | 13.3 |
| — | Puck Yeah WRECKED | The Pucks | — | — | 14 | +1 | 17 | 12.9 |
| — | Tender Greg WRECKED | The Soft Boys | — | — | 15 | +1 | 10 | 12.5 |
| — | Squish WRECKED | The Soft Boys | — | — | 16 | +1 | 18 | 12.0 |
| — | The Lieutenant FELL | Lump Patrol | — | — | 12 | -4 | 9 | 21.1 |
2.200
Squish goes to the front. Career record: 2 wins from 52, average finish 5.5.
6.708
Squish is losing bits. Recent finishes: 4-5-13-3-1.
11.275
Up it goes.
16.275
Tender Greg is losing bits. Recent finishes: 10-5-3-3-6.
22.475
Up it goes. Recent finishes: 4-5-13-3-1.
26.917
Gravy is airborne!
31.233
There goes a piece of Squish. Recent finishes: 4-5-13-3-1.
38.325
Absolute carnage.
42.675
Extraordinary scenes.
46.942
Extraordinary scenes.
53.167
That is a long way off the ground.
57.683
There goes a piece of Thick Rick.
1:02.042
There is nothing protecting Puck Yeah now.
1:03.542
And that is Squish finished.
1:07.792
Absolute carnage.
1:10.500
Tender Greg will not be back.
1:12.175
Puck Yeah will not be back.
1:20.050
Absolute carnage.
1:28.492
There is nothing left of it.
1:32.875
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:37.717
That was always going to happen.
1:43.533
They will not want to see that again.
1:48.617
Honey Mustard is airborne!
1:56.250
The Heel is losing bits.
2:01.267
Up it goes.
2:06.325
There goes a piece of Floppy Joe.
2:14.750
Absolute carnage.
2:20.050
They will not want to see that again.
2:24.267
Up it goes.
2:30.008
The Heel is losing bits.
2:34.417
Honey Mustard is losing bits.
2:38.683
The Heel leaves something behind.
2:40.183
Sweaty Gerald is out, and Crawlspace did it.
2:47.275
There is nothing protecting Crawlspace now.
2:48.775
Gravy is out.
2:50.525
And that is The Kidney finished.
2:52.200
Crawlspace is out, and Damp Kevin did it.
2:57.350
Honey Mustard is in trouble.
2:58.850
This is the last of it.
3:04.233
They will not want to see that again.
3:06.333
Honey Mustard is out.
3:12.900
The Unit goes to the front.
3:13.650
The Unit is coming to the flag.
3:15.150
Nothing in it!
3:16.650
The Unit wins the derby.
| Section | Surface | Leader at exit | Elapsed | Fastest through |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Smooth Descent | Boards | The Lieutenant | 14.042 | The Lieutenant 14.042 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | The Lieutenant | 28.242 | The Lieutenant 14.200 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | The Lieutenant | 46.425 | Squish 14.400 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Squish | 1:02.017 | Puck Yeah 12.833 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | The Kidney | 1:18.383 | The Coaster 15.058 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | The Kidney | 1:35.300 | Thick Rick 15.525 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | The Kidney | 1:50.617 | Gravy 14.583 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | The Kidney | 2:07.058 | Honey Mustard 14.908 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Gravy | 2:23.050 | Gravy 12.942 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Gravy | 2:39.558 | The Unit 15.608 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Honey Mustard | 2:57.908 | Honey Mustard 14.716 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | The Unit | 3:16.650 | Floppy Joe 16.117 |
| # | Team | Score | Finishers | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Wet Socks | 8 | 2/2 | 8 |
| 2 | The Noodles | 8 | 2/2 | 7 |
| 3 | Basement Heat | 11 | 1/2 | 6 |
| 4 | The Nuggets | 11 | 1/2 | 5 |
| 5 | The Beans | 20 | 0/2 | 4 |
| 6 | Lump Patrol | 24 | 0/2 | 3 |
| 7 | The Pucks | 25 | 0/2 | 2 |
| 8 | The Soft Boys | 29 | 0/2 | 1 |
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.
Race card
16 declared6
Tender Greg
The Soft Boys
16 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.4. Last five: 16-15-10-16-16.
219.30
Course preview
4 sections · 101 m
Smooth Descent
Smooth
16m
↓15°
Smooth Descent
Smooth
35m
↓15°
Smooth Descent
Smooth
16m
↓15°
Smooth Descent
Smooth
35m
↓15°
A velodrome that took a wrong turn somewhere and never came back. Twenty-six degrees of varnished pine holds the entire field at exactly the same radius whether anybody likes it or not, so the only way past a rival is straight through them. Nothing here chooses its own line; the banking chooses it, and the banking has no favourites and takes no notes. The boards were reclaimed from a real velodrome in 1991 and still carry the original lap markings under the tyre rubber, which no competitor has ever had a spare moment to read.
On the record
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