Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 8 · Round 6

The Pinch — Team Pack Race

The Pinch Works · The Pinch · 135 m · 16 competitors Pinch points Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — The Lieutenant survives to win

The Lieutenant took The Pinch — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Tube Sock finished second. 6 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:15.442 12 +11 30 12.1
2 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:18.133 +2.69 3 +1 9 10.6
3 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:19.650 +4.21 4 +1 14 10.5
4 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 3:21.033 +5.59 1 -3 10 10.6
5 Crooked Pete NOO The Noodles 3:22.392 +6.95 2 -3 5 10.7
6 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:22.858 +7.42 13 +7 37 12.0
7 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:31.417 +15.98 7 0 15 10.7
8 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:31.667 +16.23 9 +1 41 11.8
9 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 3:33.217 +17.78 8 -1 23 10.5
10 The Kidney BEA The Beans 3:34.783 +19.34 6 -4 21 10.6
Lil Nugget WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 -1 32 12.1
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -7 14 10.2
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +3 12 11.2
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 11 -3 20 11.6
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 0 17 11.4
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 -2 16 11.3
3.092
Wide Load is airborne!
8.075
Oh, that is a big one. Recent finishes: 7-3-3-5-8.
12.367
There is nothing left of it. Recent finishes: 7-5-3-2-3.
16.792
Chunk leaves something behind.
23.242
Big Randy is losing bits.
29.050
Thick Rick is airborne! Recent finishes: 7-3-3-5-8.
33.600
The Lieutenant takes the lead. Career record: 63 wins from 237, average finish 3.8.
38.550
Yolk goes to the front. Career record: 5 wins from 243, average finish 5.8.
44.008
There goes a piece of Squish.
49.550
Up it goes.
53.842
Yolk is losing bits.
58.517
They felt that in the back row.
1:04.350
The Lieutenant goes to the front.
1:08.233
And that is Puck Yeah finished.
1:13.392
Extraordinary scenes.
1:14.892
Squish is out, and Yolk did it.
1:20.050
Look at Crawlspace go.
1:22.400
That is Crawlspace taking Chunk with them.
1:28.892
That has come off.
1:33.133
Crawlspace leaves something behind.
1:40.325
Damp Kevin has put Yolk out.
1:45.725
They will not want to see that again.
1:51.517
Absolute carnage.
1:56.200
That is a long way off the ground.
2:01.008
There goes a piece of The Kidney.
2:03.000
And that is Refried Ron finished.
2:10.258
Look at the state of it.
2:15.100
There goes a piece of Big Randy.
2:21.000
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
2:25.617
Crawlspace leaves something behind.
2:39.308
There goes a piece of Crooked Pete.
2:45.958
Wide Load is airborne!
2:54.033
This is the last of it.
2:55.692
Lil Nugget is out.
3:02.083
Wide Load leaves something behind.
3:09.767
That has come off.
3:12.442
The Lieutenant has it.
3:15.442
The Lieutenant wins the derby.
3:20.767
That has come off.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Yolk 19.775 Yolk 19.775
Smooth Descent Clay Yolk 42.617 Puck Yeah 21.084
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:05.192 Big Randy 21.334
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:22.967 The Lieutenant 17.775
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:45.658 Thick Rick 19.100
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:08.608 Lil Nugget 20.666
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:29.850 The Lieutenant 21.242
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:54.033 Wide Load 20.759
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 3:15.442 Tube Sock 21.225
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 5 2/2 8
2 NOO The Noodles 9 2/2 7
3 LMP Lump Patrol 15 1/2 6
4 HEA Basement Heat 16 2/2 5
5 NUG The Nuggets 19 1/2 4
6 PCK The Pucks 22 1/2 3
7 BEA The Beans 22 1/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 28 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
1
Big Randy The Noodles
174 starts, 9 wins, average finish 6.1. Last five: 8-6-4-10-12.
23.07
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
164 starts, 5 wins, average finish 8.9. Last five: 16-1-8-10-11.
174.93
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
176 starts, 24 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 3-3-5-3-3.
2.90
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
176 starts, 35 wins, average finish 3.7. Last five: 1-1-2-2-4.
2.02
5
Refried Ron The Beans
180 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.9. Last five: 11-14-16-12-14.
219.30
6
The Kidney The Beans
171 starts, 0 wins, average finish 9.9. Last five: 10-13-9-4-11.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
175 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 9-14-7-2-6.
71.20
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
166 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.4. Last five: 9-13-5-9-8.
155.44
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
171 starts, 5 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 5-10-10-14-10.
69.68
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
171 starts, 4 wins, average finish 8.6. Last five: 8-7-12-8-6.
144.85
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
147 starts, 4 wins, average finish 10.0. Last five: 9-14-10-10-4.
219.30
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
172 starts, 37 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 6-2-2-1-3.
7.03
4
Wide Load The Pucks
185 starts, 32 wins, average finish 5.4. Last five: 4-5-4-11-9.
15.92
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
172 starts, 5 wins, average finish 12.3. Last five: 11-12-14-16-10.
219.30
2
Squish The Soft Boys
174 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.7. Last five: 8-6-14-12-15.
219.30
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
170 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.1. Last five: 16-16-16-16-16.
219.30

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

A disused rolling mill with an oval laid through the old loading bay, and a gap in the wall under four metres wide. Sixteen arrive at that gap together, two get through, and the rest sort it out — nine times a race, in front of a crowd that has stopped pretending it came for any other reason. The wall is original ironwork and has never once been repainted, on the grounds that it would only want doing again by Tuesday. Standing room is capped for reasons the management prefers not to put in writing.

On the record

0 calls

Nobody has committed to anything yet.