Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 10 · Round 10

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Custard survives to win

Custard took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the The Soft Boys. Thick Rick finished second. 8 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Custard SFT The Soft Boys 3:33.125 16 +15 23 11.5
2 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:41.825 +8.70 10 +8 43 12.0
3 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:42.692 +9.57 4 +1 15 10.7
4 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:46.558 +13.43 12 +8 31 12.5
5 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:49.275 +16.15 3 -2 16 10.5
6 The Coaster PCK The Pucks 3:49.850 +16.73 13 +7 37 12.2
7 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 4:03.192 +30.07 8 +1 26 10.7
8 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 4:03.450 +30.33 7 -1 29 10.8
Gravy WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 11 +2 38 12.3
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -4 20 10.4
Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 -2 30 12.2
Big Randy WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -10 19 10.7
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 +1 28 11.6
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -13 13 11.0
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -10 15 10.3
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 11 11.5
3.750
Custard goes to the front.
10.050
Gravy is coming through. Recent finishes: 15-1-3-2-16.
14.592
Up it goes. Recent finishes: 9-3-5-3-1.
20.050
Look at The Coaster go. Recent finishes: 14-2-6-1-7.
25.500
They will not want to see that again.
30.050
The Unit is losing places.
38.825
Oh, that is a big one. Recent finishes: 8-12-7-7-6.
43.875
Absolute carnage.
50.050
Look at Floppy Joe go. Recent finishes: 6-7-11-7-4.
54.525
It is coming apart now.
59.667
Sweaty Gerald is losing bits.
1:02.217
And that is Tender Greg finished.
1:07.617
There goes a piece of Slapper.
1:17.133
Up it goes.
1:21.583
Absolute carnage.
1:26.608
That is a long way off the ground.
1:33.758
Big Randy is losing bits.
1:41.392
Sweaty Gerald leaves something behind.
1:47.017
Extraordinary scenes.
1:53.975
Up it goes.
1:58.625
There is nothing left of it.
2:02.283
Refried Ron will not be back.
2:06.975
Absolute carnage.
2:12.142
Gravy is airborne!
2:16.525
Honey Mustard is airborne!
2:19.308
Floppy Joe will not be back.
2:25.750
There goes a piece of Gravy.
2:30.158
That is a long way off the ground.
2:34.383
Slapper is airborne!
2:36.983
And that is Slapper finished.
2:42.742
Look at the state of it.
2:45.333
And that is Big Randy finished.
2:53.858
That is a long way off the ground.
2:55.358
That is Crawlspace taking Honey Mustard with them.
3:06.083
The Lieutenant is airborne!
3:08.633
This is the last of it.
3:14.633
Up it goes.
3:20.467
You do not see that every day.
3:26.125
You do not see that every day.
3:30.125
Here comes Custard.
3:30.692
The Lieutenant is airborne!
3:33.125
Custard wins the derby.
3:37.875
It is coming apart now.
3:39.375
Sweaty Gerald will not be back.
3:43.717
Gravy is out, and The Unit did it.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 21.525 Custard 21.525
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 46.767 The Lieutenant 22.617
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:07.233 The Lieutenant 18.691
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 1:32.650 Custard 22.625
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 1:57.508 Honey Mustard 21.950
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 2:20.100 Honey Mustard 21.334
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 2:43.742 Honey Mustard 21.550
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 3:08.633 The Lieutenant 22.433
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 8 2/2 8
2 NUG The Nuggets 13 1/2 7
3 LMP Lump Patrol 13 1/2 6
4 HEA Basement Heat 15 2/2 5
5 SFT The Soft Boys 17 1/2 4
6 PCK The Pucks 19 1/2 3
7 BEA The Beans 25 0/2 2
8 NOO The Noodles 26 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
224 starts, 8 wins, average finish 9.1. Last five: 15-13-3-6-15.
219.30
1
Big Randy The Noodles
215 starts, 13 wins, average finish 6.0. Last five: 6-16-7-8-10.
29.77
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
222 starts, 42 wins, average finish 3.7. Last five: 1-1-3-6-1.
2.47
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
224 starts, 29 wins, average finish 4.2. Last five: 2-2-2-1-3.
2.91
5
Refried Ron The Beans
226 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.9. Last five: 13-15-15-12-13.
219.30
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
215 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.0. Last five: 9-12-14-16-8.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
218 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 3-8-3-7-7.
38.50
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
221 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.5. Last five: 6-7-6-10-11.
111.79
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
226 starts, 8 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 14-11-12-7-6.
100.55
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
217 starts, 6 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 5-8-4-9-3.
19.39
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
237 starts, 27 wins, average finish 7.2. Last five: 15-4-4-9-6.
45.82
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
228 starts, 50 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 1-5-1-10-2.
5.19
3
The Coaster The Pucks
222 starts, 21 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 5-8-5-2-4.
37.07
8
Slapper The Pucks
211 starts, 23 wins, average finish 8.5. Last five: 11-10-15-11-13.
219.30
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
225 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.5. Last five: 12-16-12-16-10.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
222 starts, 5 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 10-8-5-9-4.
70.72

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

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